“Hey,” I say.
Milly offers me a tight smile as she ducks her head out her window. “How’s it going? I spoke to Samuel, and he said it looked like y’all were doing okay. I haven’t wanted to bother you . . .”
“It’s no bother. Honestly, you’re welcome to stop by anytime now that we’re over the hump of these first few days. Liam seems to be adjusting well, all things considered.”
“I’m so glad. He’s really freaking cute, Rhett.”
“Just like his daddy.” I swallow. “Being a single parent—it’s tough. Really tough. I keep thinking about Jennifer, Liam’s mom. I give her so much credit. She clearly was a great mom. Her friend Elle—the one who reached out to me—told me Jennifer and Liam were super close. I wonder how she did it, to be honest. I’ve got help and money out the wazoo, and it’s still hard.”
Milly’s expression softens. “It’s not your fault she didn’t tell you.”
“It is, though. I wish”—another swallow—“I wish I could’ve been there for her. For Liam. I wish I’d been less wasted when we met. Maybe then—”
“Rhett. Don’t beat yourself up like that. You can’t change the past. But you can be a good dad now. And the fact that you’re sweating this stuff shows you care. A lot. I’m not a parent, but I’m pretty sure the definition of a good dad is one who gives a shit about his kid. Think about it—you signed up for full custody of Liam seven seconds after you found out he existed. You’re taking responsibility, and that’s gotta count for something.”
Glancing through my windshield, I will her words to sink in. She’s right. I’m right too. But at some point, I gotta let the past go. I have to move on. If not for me, then for my son.
Easier said than done.
“Can I stop by tomorrow?” Milly continues. “Maybe bring some food?”
“Sure.”
She arches a brow. “And Amelia? How is she?”
“Perfect,” I say without thinking.
I hear Milly put her car in park. “That sounds interesting.”
“You know what I mean. She’s perfect for Liam. I’m learning, slowly, but I couldn’t have done this without her. It’s nice having help. Having people around. I actually should get going—”
“Eager to get home, huh?” Milly narrows her eyes.
I look away, face burning. “I have a kid now. Shouldn’t I want to get home?”
“Absolutely. I’m just astonished, frankly, at how quickly you’ve gone from holy-shit-my-life-is-over to damn-I-gotta-get-home-to-my-kid-and-girl.”
Sticking my tongue into my cheek, I roll my eyes. “You’re baiting me, and I’m choosing to ignore it.”
“All I’m saying is you look happy. Tired, but happy. Beau was right—fatherhood looks good on you. So does having a crush.”
“I don’t—” I slam the heel of my hand on the wheel. “Jesus Christ, Milly.”
“What exactly happened with y’all, anyway? You and Amelia. I was away at college when you guys broke up, so I only got the Spark Notes.”
Easing my foot off the brake, I let my car roll forward a little. This conversation is bullshit, and I want to get home. But I’m getting butterflies talking about Amelia—thinking about her—and I like the feeling too much to let it be.
I hit the brake again. “Senior year, Amelia was late. We were mostly careful, but sometimes . . . not so much. For a hot minute, we were sure she was pregnant. When she told me, I cried. I had my scholarship, I was going to pursue this big career I wanted, and a kid was not part of the plan. Amelia cried too. She wanted to have the baby. Stay in North Carolina to raise it. On the drive to Target to get the tests, we got into this huge fight when I told her how I felt.”
“That you didn’t want to have the baby.”
The blacktop ahead wavers in the heat as I glance through my windshield. “Not that, no. I said she should come with me to Alabama. We could both go to school, and I could play football. We could raise the baby there together. But that’s not what she wanted—her mom had just passed away, and she wanted to stay close to her grandmother. She’d also gotten an academic scholarship to App State, and she didn’t want to give that up. She wanted to get her degree in education, come back to Asheville and teach at Woodward, and have a family.”
“Is that admiration I hear in your voice?”
I shrug. “But I didn’t want to give up football. And yeah, maybe I didn’t want to give up my shot at fame either. So basically, we realized we wanted different things—that we had different priorities, because she wanted to stay close to family, to have some kids of her own, and I wanted the opposite of that. So when she took the test, and it came back negative, we were like, yeah, why the fuck are we together if neither of us is willing to bend?”