Jackson gives me a squeeze, and I feel his responding rumble of laughter. “I’m talking about the fact that you are turning twenty-five in less than two weeks, will be the heir apparent to the richest monarchy in the world, and you have the burden of naming a secret heir.”
I can’t help the giggle. “I guess there are some bigger things coming than my birthday party.”
There’s a long pause before Jackson says, “The threat to you and your father is real. Your birthday party is going to be when you are the most vulnerable. From this moment forward, you are not to be out of my sight, not ever. Do you understand?”
“Never?” I ask. Because twenty-four-seven has a lot of implications.
“Never,” he repeats gruffly. “That means I’m in your room at night.”
That’s a bold move. Especially since we aren’t open about our relationship. We’ve been operating on the down low.
“Won’t that raise suspicions?” I twist my neck and look over my shoulder at him. “Won’t people talk?”
His eyes bore into mine. “Dmitri knows.”
I jolt and scramble around to face him. Eyes wide with concern, I ask, “Dmitri knows? How? When? Do you think my parents know?”
Jackson cocks an eyebrow, his lips curling into a teasing grin. “Why? Are you embarrassed if your parents know about us?”
I shake my head and glare at him. “Of course, I’m not embarrassed. But if word is going to make it to them, I’d rather sit down and tell them myself. I’m an adult. They know I can have adult relationships, and they respect that. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to get married and you’re going to sit on the throne beside me.”
Something flickers in Jackson’s eyes, but I can’t tell what it is. However, I instantly regret mentioning the throne. It’s a harsh reminder of the different worlds we come from and the exact reason we cannot be together permanently.
I rush to soften what I said. “Not that you wouldn’t make a fabulous prince and then king someday. I just know that’s not something you want. It’s not something either of us are even ready to consider. I mean… we’re absolutely not considering it. We agreed this had an expiration date, and I’m cool with that. If you are, that is.” A huge sigh gushes out of me. “I feel like I’m flubbing this.”
Jackson tightens his arms around me again and pulls me in close before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I know what you mean. I know that you and I are never going to be anything more than what we are right now. We’re from two vastly different worlds. It sucks… but I understand, and I know you do too. You have a duty, loyalty, and obligation 99.9 percent of the people in this world will never understand the burden of. I picked the wrong girl to get entangled with.”
There is nothing in his words that indicates sadness. No frustration.
No anger.
Jackson just calls it the way he sees it, and he’s coping—same as me—with the ultimate fact that we can’t be together.
In fact, he’s coping much better than I am. Just thinking about him leaving sometimes makes me want to cry.
But let’s be honest, he said he chose the wrong girl to become entangled with. He didn’t say he was falling for me, or that he cared deeply, or that he loved me. No, all we are is an entanglement. And I have to accept that it’s going to end.
Our destiny is for us to become untangled.
I lower my head to rest on his shoulder, and he pulls me in even closer so our chests are mashed together, our legs entwined. Now is the point I should feel my eyes starting to get heavy with sleep as I just had a brutally long flight home, an exhausting day reuniting with my parents, and two blistering orgasms that wrecked me. Yet, my emotions are so frazzled right now because of Jackson I can’t seem to turn off my brain. I start thinking about what-ifs.
What if I walked away from the throne?
What if he would be willing to give up his career?
What if we were really in love but neither of us can admit it because we each think the other wants something different?
None of those seem feasible to me.
Or I’m too scared to think one might be right.
Jackson’s breath blows out across the top of my head. “So what exactly awaits you down the road?” he asks quietly. “I know your responsibilities are going to increase from what you’ve told me, but what other duties will the princess be expected to take on?”
I give a mirthless laugh. “There’s only one last great expectation that I have to live up to,” I say flatly.
“What’s that?” His tone is mild but interested. He’s always interested when I talk.