Beat by Beat (Riggins Brothers 5)

Hot tears race down my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe them away. I know it’s no use.

“I love them,” Marshall adds. “I love them with everything that I am. I promise to take care of both of them. I’ll love and protect them for both of us. I will be the father to Maddie that you wanted to be but missed the chance. I don’t take this vow lightly.”

“Hey, Maddie, Travis is your daddy. Can you say hi to Daddy?” he asks my daughter. She just smiles and laughs at him. Marshall is her favorite person, and she his.

“Merry Christmas,” he says, his hold on me growing a little tighter.

I have so many emotions soaring through me. The biggest is that I feel so blessed to have loved both of these incredible men. I never thought I would be here with my fiancé and my daughter, but Marshall, he’s one of the good ones. He’s not someone who will shy away from the hard stuff, and at the same time, he’s the one you want to have fun with, the one you long to hang out with.

“The wind is really picking up. Do you mind taking Madeline back to the car? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Sure thing, baby. Take your time.” He kisses my temple and releases me. He walks to the headstone and taps it twice with his hand. He then removes the extra blanket around Madeline and hands it to me. He snuggles her close and heads back to the car.

Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, I stare at the headstone. “Hey, Trav,” I croak. “Sorry, it’s been so long. Times were tight for a while, and well, I just couldn’t afford to get here.

“Madeline is getting so big,” I tell him. “She’s growing and thriving. Today is her first Christmas, which you know, but she loved the paper and the boxes more than the gifts.” I chuckle softly.

“Marshall, he went overboard. The living room looked like a toy store by the time we were finished. We still have his family to go see. That’s where we’re headed. He has four brothers and his parents. They love Madeline like she’s their own. So does he, but you already heard him. I went from having Carrie to having a huge support system. Madeline has cousins and aunts and uncles.” I pause to catch my breath.

“You did well, Trav. You sent me a man who would love us both. His family, they love us too, and I know you’re behind that. I wish you were here. I miss you every day. I wish you could have met your daughter. I know how important having a family was to you. Well, you might not be here to give that to her, but you made sure she got it. You made sure we both did.

“I love him, Travis. I feel guilty even telling you that, but I feel like you deserve to know. Hell, you’re up there watching me, so you already know, but I feel like I needed to say those words to you. He’s such a good man. I-I want him to adopt Madeline. I never want her to feel different from her brothers and sisters. No, I’m not pregnant, but we’re getting married, and we both want to grow our family.”

Taking the blanket, I wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I promise you she will forever know that you’re her daddy. The one who helped me make her but had to go live with the angels. Marshall, he’ll be her here-and-now daddy. I’ll make sure she knows how much both of you love her.”

A sob falls from my lips, causing me to suck in a deep breath to try and pull myself together. “I should get going. I don’t want to be late. Thank you for the greatest gift of my life. Thank you for our daughter. I promise to come to visit more often, and I’ll be sure to bring Madeline too.” Walking to the headstone, I kiss the tips of my fingers and place them over his name. “Gone but never forgotten,” I murmur.

I take my time, my steps small as I head back to the SUV. When I look up, I see Marshall leaning against the passenger door with his arms crossed across his chest and his legs crossed at the ankles. He doesn’t say a single word when he opens his arms for me. I rush the last few steps and cling to him. I don’t know that I will ever find the words to tell him what him bringing us here means to me.

When I finally feel as though I can speak without crying, I lift my head from his chest to look at him. “Today—” I start, but he shakes his head.