“I’m telling my sister today,” I told him. “Before. Is that okay?”
I didn’t want to blindside her.
She knew that I had something going with Murphy, but she’d been so caught up in her own shit that she didn’t really have time to think about mine.
But I didn’t want to bombard her with the news of Murphy and me, and Murphy’s impending death, while out to eat with a bunch of people from the gym.
Which meant we needed to leave early so I could broach that subject with her beforehand.
Which also meant we’d need to head over to Taos’ house to do it.
“Sure,” Murphy stood up, taking my kid with him.
I immediately went to him and pulled Vlad into my arm.
A week ago, Murphy would’ve complained.
This week, he knew just as well as I did that he couldn’t carry Vlad any longer.
Vlad, always as non-understanding as possible, hollered his anger at being taken away from his best friend.
Murphy smiled at me tiredly, his eyes filled with sorrow.
Even as sick as he was, he hated that Vlad didn’t show me the same love as he got shown.
I crowded Murphy and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m okay.”
He brought his big hand up and curled it around my jaw, running that big, callused thumb over my bottom lip before saying, “I need to go home today.”
I rolled my eyes and pulled away, hating the loss of his heat against my skin, but tired as hell of the same ol’ argument.
“You’re not leaving. Ever,” I ordered. “We have to stay at my house because yours is a death trap for Vlad. All those unfinished projects.” I paused. “You’re here for the duration.”
The duration meaning, upon his death.
Words that neither one of us said, but we were both thinking.
He shook his head sadly. “Baby, I have to go home.”
I was already shaking my head before he’d even finished his sentence. “Your mom agreed. She and I both think it’s best for you to be here. That old house of yours is too drafty. Plus, with her working now, one of us will always be able to get to my place, and you, better if you’re here and not there.”
That was kind of a stupid argument on our part. His place was about five minutes past mine. In the grand scheme of things, he really wasn’t all that much farther away. But five minutes, in my head, meant the difference between life and death. And his mother agreed.
“Come on,” he urged as he gestured for the door. “Let’s go.”
I didn’t want to go.
In fact, I was honestly kind of upset that I was having to share him for the evening.
It sucked bad enough to have to share Murphy’s time with his mother. I know, that was absolutely horrible for me to admit, but it still sucked, and I totally begrudged her the time.
Why?
Because she’d gotten more time with him than I had.
It was stupid and petty and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking it.
“Come on,” he repeated, catching my hand and giving me a small tug. “Let’s go, please.”
I reluctantly followed him out, listening as Vlad had a conversation with Murphy on the way outside.
The moment the front door was opened, I was practically slapped in the face with the cold.
I winced, thinking that I would rather stay in bed curled around Murphy with Vlad sleeping between us than go out.
But it was time.
We couldn’t keep hiding this.
Me, I couldn’t keep hiding how much I was in love with Murphy. And Murphy couldn’t hide that he was dying.
People at the gym loved Murphy. Hell, my sister loved Murphy.
People would want to know.
Vlad screamed at the cold, and I cursed and turned around, but Murphy stopped me. “I got his bag and his jacket.”
I sighed.
Sometimes, Murphy proved to be a better parent even though he wasn’t the actual parent.
I was such a loser.
“Thanks,” I sighed.
He winked at me as he opened the door to my already running van.
I hadn’t realized that he’d started it, but again, Murphy was two steps ahead of me.
Once we got Vlad in his car seat, and Murphy settled in the passenger seat with his oxygen mask and the bottle between his legs, we headed to Taos’ place.
“I’ve never actually been to his place,” Murphy admitted, breathing slightly labored.
I felt my heart pang hard before I said, “Why? I thought y’all were good friends?”
“Everyone is friendly up there,” Murphy admitted. “But it’s kind of like us doing something at the gym doesn’t really correlate with our outside-gym life. You know what I mean?”
“I do,” I confirmed. “There are a few ladies up there that I speak with only up there. I mean, we’re friends on social media, but that’s about all the interaction we have outside of the gym.”
“I have beers—or had before this got worse—” he pressed his hand against his heart. “With Taos, Madden and Jasper. Sometimes with Soren and Johan if they can manage to get the time off. But that’s only once in a blue moon. We’re already fuckin’ busy.”