Guilia didn’t look up as she said, “Sometimes, as a mother, a child knows that they can just be themselves when the person they love most is holding them. They can cry and scream, and they know that we’ll love them anyway when they’re through.”
I felt tears clog my throat as I left the room.
It was only after I’d gotten my son in bed—awake now that I’d learned that it was his desired way of doing things thanks to Murphy showing me—that I went back to check on the two.
I found Guilia crying silent tears while Murphy slept in her arms.
I left them alone, and only when I was far enough away, did I let the sobs fall free from my throat.
• • •
2 weeks later
I got home from work to find Murphy asleep on the couch, and Vlad asleep on top of Murphy.
My eyes instantly filled with tears.
Ever since that day of doctor’s appointments, though he hadn’t officially ‘moved in,’ he’d been there every night.
I loved it and hated it.
Mostly because I was going to get used to it, and at some point, he would no longer be there to give me that instant feeling of ‘rightness.’
“You’re staring like a weirdo,” came the grumbled reply from the couch. “And you’re letting all the cold air in. Hurry up and get in here and close the door.”
I snickered as I did what he said, not because he’d ordered me to, but because I wanted to.
At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
I walked to the couch and bent over the arm, placing the first kiss on Murphy’s lips before moving to my kid next.
He allowed me to kiss him only because he was still asleep.
“Was he good for your mom and you today?” I wondered.
He grunted out a ‘yeah’ as he sat up, being careful not to jostle my baby in his arms. “He was fussy after my mother left, though, so I gave him a bottle and we took a quick power nap.”
I smiled as I reached for my kid, relishing in the way he snuggled in, likely not knowing that it was me.
“I wish I knew why he disliked me so much,” I grumbled.
Murphy snorted. “He doesn’t dislike you.”
I rolled my eyes. “We both know that to be a lie,” I said as I walked into the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
He shook his head, and I felt yet another lead weight get added to the ball in my stomach.
“You have to eat,” I ordered.
He smiled. “Have to. But don’t want to. Maybe soup?”
Broth. He’d drink the broth, because that wouldn’t take any effort on his part.
“Okay,” I said softly, heading to the kitchen to get his soup on.
I made myself and Vlad a small frozen meal and waited until all three were done before heading back into the living room where I could hear Murphy breathing heavy.
“You okay?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Breathing’s bad today.”
It was getting worse and worse as the days went on.
Not even oxygen was helping anymore.
He looked awful, too.
He was overdue for a haircut, his eyes had large, black circles underneath of them, and they looked sunken, as if he’d had all the water sucked out of him.
Which was funny, because everywhere else he was so swollen he looked like a different person.
I sat carefully on the couch beside him and brought the cooled soup up to his lips.
He didn’t protest when I held it there because he could barely hold a spoon up anymore, let alone a bowl of soup.
Honestly, if Vlad had woken up and had needed anything, Murphy wouldn’t be able to provide it for him.
But today, Guilia had hurt herself in the kitchen, and she’d gone to the doctor to see if she needed stitches.
I’d rushed home from work as fast as I could, but that’d still left Vlad alone with Murphy who couldn’t do anything for a good solid hour.
Luckily, Vlad was a good baby and chose to comply with his best friend instead of making it harder on him.
Murphy touched my arm, and I frowned.
Only half the soup had been consumed.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
He nodded. “Sure.”
I sat the soup down with a slightly shaking hand, and then went to my food as the man beside me got more comfortable on the couch.
I was half-finished with mine before Vlad woke up and wanted his own.
I fed him completely before I went back to my now-cold dinner.
“I love you.”
I smiled at Murphy over my shoulder. “I love you, too.”
His eyes took me in for a few long seconds before he said, “When I’m gone, I want you to know this. Vlad loves you, too. He may not show it in the best way, but in the beginning, I didn’t either. Okay?”
That lead ball had yet another weight added to it.
Murphy didn’t shy away from the ‘when I’m gone’ comments anymore.