Chasing Serenity (River Rain 1)

That got him talking.

“Right then, let’s be honest, Meg. Really honest. What you’re saying is, I’m not going in the direction you want me going. My life goals aren’t what you want them to be. I know what I want, you know I do. I know who I am, you know that too. It’s just that those things aren’t what you want. Am I right?”

Her face twisted. “No man wants to hike for a living.”

Okay.

Now he was getting pissed off.

“After all this time together, is that what you think I do?”

She shifted on her barstool.

She knew what he did, and she knew that was bullshit.

And…

Yeah.

Barstool.

They both lived in Arizona. But he lived in Prescott, she lived in Phoenix, a two-hour drive from each other, so it wasn’t like they were living together or even saw each other every day.

Though, they were exclusive and had been for over a year. He went out of his way to make time for her, get to Phoenix to see her.

Meg?

Not so much, but to be fair, her job didn’t allow her to.

Still, not so much.

She was a reporter for a local station. She was aiming to sit behind the desk as an anchor, and after she achieved that, she wanted to move on to bigger and better things.

Or, he should say, stand on the set and talk at a camera, something he did not get why it was the thing. Judge thought when newscasters did that they looked like the awkward folks at a party, standing around not knowing who to talk to. It was his opinion, when you listened to the news, you needed to trust that the person giving it to you was taking it seriously, not gabbing while waiting for a tray of hors d’oeuvres to be passed around.

Needless to say, Meg did not share this opinion.

Judge ran an outreach program for a massive outdoor store that had over seventy locations in the US. A program aimed to get urban kids out into nature.

He hiked with the kids…a lot.

He also hiked by himself and did other things outside…a lot.

But most of his job was about raising money, ditto awareness of the issue, and the profile of the program, as well as managing the logistics that included hundreds of volunteers in dozens of cities doing hundreds of hikes a year.

He wasn’t paid enough to afford a BMW. But even if he was, he wouldn’t buy one.

He also wasn’t homeless.

But they were here, at a bar, and Meg was ending things with him, when they’d committed to each other over a year ago. They regularly, if not all the time, slept at each other’s sides. They’d gone on vacations together. And they’d met each other’s families.

Or, she’d had dinner with his dad.

His mom?

Absolutely not.

“Though, a lot of men and women would want to hike for a living,” he went on. “Around fifty million people in the US alone regularly hike.”

“Judge—”

He wasn’t done.

“You’re not an outdoors person. That’s cool. I don’t care because you’re smart as hell and goal oriented. You’re interesting. You’re funny. You’re sweet. And you’re beautiful. I want you to have what you want. I want to support you in your goals. I want you to be happy. What I don’t want is for you to mold me into who you think I’m supposed to be to fit into your life.”

Right.

The real honesty?

This had been an issue.

It being one right then, he wasn’t blindsided by it.

She’d said some things. There had been more than a few looks when he’d been with her and shared with others what he did. She’d done some suggesting, urging and downright pushing.

He just thought she’d get over it when he didn’t bend and definitely didn’t break.

Her expression had softened when he’d told her all the things he found attractive in her, because Meg liked compliments. She told him her love language was words.

So he gave her words, because that was what she needed and she was upfront about it, even if he wasn’t a flowery speeches kind of guy.

She also thought what he said opened a door for her, and even if it didn’t, she tried to stroll through.

“You can get involved down here. In Phoenix,” she said. “There are a lot of charities you can work for. On the whole, there are just tons more opportunities down here. And truly, Judge, you’re wasted up there. You’re whip smart, and when you talk, people listen to you. You’re a natural leader. You should be with a bigger program. You should be seeking new challenges. You should be reaching for something higher.”

“Organizations that pay more, have advancement opportunities and don’t require me to travel,” he filled in what she left unsaid.

She opened her mouth.

But this shit from Megan wasn’t the only pressure Judge had about this same subject.