* * *
"That," I say with a smile on my face. “Goes right here.” I push it to the spot in the corner where it always was. “You know why?" She shakes her head. “Because you can see who comes to the front door,” I say, pointing at the window and seeing that it is true, but now with the overgrown weeds, you can’t see anything really. “And you see the television perfect.” She nods her head at me, and I push the stuff around. The hair on the top of my head is slowly falling out of the bun. It takes me over an hour of pushing to fix things. The whole time, Sofia is either sitting and watching or “helping.”
* * *
"There," I say, pushing the couch against the wall. “How’s this?" I look over at Sofia, who is helping by pushing her side of the couch.
* * *
"I like it,” she says, plopping down on the couch. “Comfy." She pats the space next to her. “Come sit, Momma."
* * *
"Okay." I smile as I sit next to her, putting my arm around her and pulling her to me. I kiss her soft brown hair. "Much better,” I say, looking down at her. “You make everything better, Sofia." The ding of the kitchen timer rings, letting me know my cookies are ready.
* * *
Sofia flies off the couch and jumps up and down. “It’s ready." She puts her hands together with excitement.
* * *
"They are,” I say, getting up and walking to the kitchen.
* * *
"Be careful, Momma," she tells me. “It’s hot."
* * *
I laugh at her and grab the oven mitt, opening the oven. The two baking trays are on the middle rack, and the cookies are a golden brown. “They look good,” I tell Sofia, putting them on the stovetop. She comes over to stand next to me, not getting too close, and gets on her tippy-toes. Ever since I had Sofia, baking has been my favorite pastime. I had a book of recipes from my great-grandmother that Pops brought me when he visited once Sofia was born. Batch after batch, I would give it my own spin. It even helped out when things were tight, and I would sell the cookies at school. Word spread, and it was a quick side job, but I’ve not done this in a while. The only cookies I bake now are for Sofia’s school and us.
* * *
"Can I have one?" she asks.
* * *
"Soon,” I say, and she yawns. “Are you tired?" She shakes her head and rubs her eyes. She woke up at four thirty today and refused to go back to sleep.
* * *
"Why don’t we go and snuggle and watch a movie, and then we can have some cookies and milk?" I pick her up, and she puts her head on my shoulder.
* * *
Walking up the stairs, I pass my grandfather's room. The door is closed, but I know I’m going to have to open it sooner rather than later. The floor creaks when I walk into my bedroom. I set Sofia on the bed and take off her boots, and she crawls to the middle of the bed. The iPad sits on my dresser, and I use it to find one of her shows. I press play, and by the time I lie down next to her, she’s already asleep. Grabbing my old blanket, I cover her and softly kiss her cheek.
* * *
I leave the iPad playing and sneak out of the room as quietly as I can, turning back and looking at her every single time the floor creaks to make sure she stays asleep. I pull the door but leave it open just a touch.
* * *
Walking down the steps, I make my way to the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and putting it on the burner. Turning the knob, I listen for the click of the gas stove. I get my cup out and put a tea bag in it.
* * *
Looking over at the table, I have my laptop and the stack of bills that Mr. Devlyn gave me when I left. The kettle whistles, and I pour the boiling water into the mug, suddenly wishing I bought a bottle of wine or maybe two when we were out.
* * *
Sitting down, I place the tea in front of me and let out a huge breath. Pulling the blue elastic off the stack of letters, I open the first bill, and my eyes go from the top where the supplier name is to the red “past due” stamped in the middle to the bottom where the amount is. I repeat the process until the stack is all opened.
* * *
My head is spinning now when I see how much is owed. The biggest one from the hospital and then the hospice care. I close my eyes when I get to the bank one. Not only did he take a mortgage out on the house but he also took a second mortgage on that one.