I put my head back. “Why do you always have to do the ‘when I die’ shit?” I say.
"If you don’t want to hear it, don’t come throwing your money at me,” he says. “We just got seven new horses this morning. Quinn is going to have to take a couple to train for his therapy camp, but I think I have one in mind for you," he says, turning now and walking out of the barn, and I follow him. "Let’s see if we think alike." The sound of horses running makes me look into the enclosed fence area. We walk up to the logged fence, and I stand next to my grandfather as we look at the horses. My eyes go to one horse in particular. “Go pick," my grandfather says, and I nod at him.
I take off my shirt and put it on the fence. “Is there a reason you are taking off your shirt?" Ethan says, coming in with Gabriel by his side. “You planning on buying her dinner, too?"
"Still jealous about my six-pack." I wink at him and turn to walk into the area. “You’ll get yours back."
"I still have my six-pack!” he shouts at me. “It’s just four at the moment."
"Whatever you have to tell yourself." I clap my hands and walk over to the caramel-colored horse. She looks up at me, and I see her beautiful brown eyes. The hair on the top of her head is white, and she has a white mark between her eyes. She looks at me up and down and takes a step back from me.
"I’m not going to hurt you." I put up my hand, and she takes a couple more steps away from me. “It’s okay." Her tail goes right and left as she waits for me. “I’m not going to hurt you." She lets me touch her before moving away, her eyes on my hand the whole time. “No one is going to hurt you, girl,” I say and take a step to her, rubbing her neck. “I have a little girl,” I say, my chest filling up so much I feel like it’s going to explode. “She’s amazing, and she’s beautiful. She’s kind, and she loves horses." The horse puffs out now as if she understands me. “And I want her to have a horse that loves her as much as I do." I make my way to the other side of the horse, seeing if she is going to do anything. “Okay, let’s take you for a ride,” I say as I mount her.
She doesn’t buck me off, so I’m already winning. “Attagirl,” I say to her and make her trot. “There you go,” I say.
"Why isn’t he wearing a shirt?" I look over and see Emily with her hand over her eyes to block the sun while she looks at me.
"He thinks he’s John Wayne," my grandfather says, and I laugh. I take her for a ride in the forest to see how she reacts to sounds, and she is perfect. A touch scared, but she’ll do. I ride her back to the barn. Getting off and grabbing the reins, I bring her to the water. She walks with me slowly, and when we get close to the barn, she stops.
"I’m here,” I say, and she takes one step and then another, stopping every four steps to look around to see where she is.
"Hey, John Wayne," my grandfather says, coming out of his office, laughing. "How did she do?"
"She did okay in the forest; the noises didn’t spook her,” I say, getting her in the stall and showing her the fresh water. "She’ll be fine." I rub her neck. “I’ll take her."
“Already put it down in the book,” he says, and I laugh.
"What happened to the computer?" I ask, knowing full well how much he hates it. It’s as old-school as it gets. It took four years for him to agree to the flip phone he still has.
"That thing got jammed." He shakes his head. “Now Harlow comes in the morning, takes all my papers, and does what she needs to do with them."
I laugh now and walk out of the barn. “Thanks, Grandpa,” I say, walking to his desk and putting my shirt back on. "I’ll come back later today." I think to myself, hoping I can convince Hazel to let me bring Sofia here. “Or tomorrow."
He looks at me. “This is your home," he says. “You never have to tell me when you are going to be here. You come when you want to come."
I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that right now. “Thank you, Grandpa,” I say. “For everything."
He nods, unsure what I’m talking about, and I know that I’m going to have to sit down with him and tell him. After my parents, he is the one I want to tell the most. I walk away from him, heading to my truck and going to the one place I’ve been wanting to go back to since this morning.