"You shouldn’t have,” I say, not even trying to hide the smile. “I’ve never gotten flowers before,” I say, turning to search for a vase. "Thank you, that was very sweet of you."
He puts his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, and I look at him, tilting my head to the side. “Is everything okay?" I ask, and he looks at the television now and then Sofia before turning back and looking at me.
"Yeah," he says, and I sense he’s trying to say something. “We need to talk,” he says. “But not now, when she goes to bed."
That has to be the worst thing you could say to me right now. My stomach sinks, and I just nod at him as so many things go through my head. Maybe he spent the day with her, and he decided that it’s not for him. Maybe he’s just not cut out for this. It’s fine. It will be fine, I tell myself. "Yeah, sure," I say, avoiding looking at him. I put the vase on the counter and fill it with water. “Dinner is almost done,” I say, and he just leans on the counter and looks at me.
"Is everything okay?" he asks, and I just look over at him.
"Yeah," I say, ignoring even looking at him. I can feel him staring at me, and my nerves get the best of me. “Listen, I don’t know what you want to talk to me about,” I say, looking at him and then at Sofia again. “But if you don’t want to do this." I motion with my hand in a circle. “It’s okay."
"Hazel, I’ve never been more sure of doing this in my whole life," he says, not moving from the counter. “In fact, this …" He motions with his own hand in a circle, and the look he gives me is making my mouth go dry and my hands shaky. “Is just the beginning."
Chapter 25
Reed
I watch her eyes when I say the words. “In fact, this …" I mimic her when I put my hand in a circle, my eyes staring into hers. “Is just the beginning." She swallows, and I force myself not to go to her and take her in my arms. It’s taking everything not to take her face in my hands and kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. "Just so we are on the same page." She nods. I turn my head to look at Sofia, seeing that her eyes are getting heavy. “Sofia." I call her name, and she looks over, and I can tell she’s exhausted. “Want to help me set the table?"
She gets off the couch and comes over, rubbing her eyes. I lean down and pick her up. “Tired, baby girl?" I ask softly. She puts her head on my shoulder, and I thought I would be ready for this. I thought I had all of this wrapped up in my head. I knew I loved her with every single fiber of my being. I knew I wanted to be her father with everything I had in me. But now I know that I would die before I bring even one ounce of pain to her.
"Yeah,” she says softly. “Can we go see Caramel tomorrow?" she asks, and I look over at Hazel, who is wiping a tear away from her face.
"Anything," I tell Sofia, who perks up and squirms to get out of my arms. She walks over and grabs the forks out of the drawer.
"That," Hazel says, “is her wrapping you around her tiny little finger." I can’t even answer her because she’s right.
Dinner goes off smooth again, and when it’s time to clean the dishes, Sofia looks at Hazel. “Can Uncle Reed say my prayers with me?" My eyes go from her to Hazel, who smiles, my heart exploding in my chest.
"Sure," Hazel says, getting up now and taking the plates. “I’ll clean up here."
Sofia slips her hand in mine, and we walk up the stairs together. She grabs her nightgown and shows me her whole nightly routine. She climbs into bed after she brushes her teeth. “Now you read me a story," she tells me, and I pick up a book from the side table. “Not that one," she tells me, and I laugh. “The pink one."
"Okay," I say, picking up the pink book and reading it to her. She yawns and turns on her side when I finish. She says her prayer, and when she thanks God for Caramel and me, I don’t think I can get up and walk. I lean down and kiss her cheek. “I love you, baby girl,” I say, and her eyes close. I stay up here so long that I hear the stairs creak and look over at Hazel.
"Is everything okay?" she asks and looks at the bed, seeing Sofia sleeping peacefully.