He stands there with his head down, and my stomach sinks, thinking that they refuse to accept Sofia. The fear fills my body, turning my body cold. He looks up, and I can see he’s been crying. “Hey," I say softly, my eyes searching his for the answers but coming up empty. "You okay?"
“Yeah." He nods, and I walk out of the door, going to him and hugging him. Getting on my tippy-toes, I put my arms around his shoulders. He bends just a bit, and his arms wrap around my waist. "It’s okay," he whispers in my ear, and I lean back, my arms still around him. “Better than okay."
A tear falls on my arm, and I realize it’s from me. Reed’s hand comes up. “No tears,” he says. “Not today."
"Um," I say, letting go of his shoulders. “There will be tears." I’m not even going to pretend I’ll be strong enough for this. “But they will be happy tears and not sad tears."
He smirks at me, and my hand itches to come up and trace it with my finger. “I can do that."
"Uncle Reed." I feel Sofia next to me as she pushes me to the side to stand between us. “Momma didn’t make you eggs."
He laughs, bending and taking her in his arms. “That’s okay. I’m not hungry," he says, and I notice he’s wearing shorts instead of jeans.
"Do you want coffee?" I ask over my shoulder when I walk back into the house, and he follows me. "Do you want to do this right now?" I ask, and he nods his head. My heart fills in my throat as he looks at Sofia. I ignore the way my stomach just lurched, walking over to the couch.
Reed puts down Sofia. “Come and sit for a minute." I pat the seat next to me, and she walks over to me and sits down.
"Come on, Uncle Reed," Sofia says, patting the seat next to her. He walks over, but instead of sitting next to her, he squats down in front of her.
"So remember a long time ago," I start talking. “When you asked me if you had a dad?"
I look at her to see if she remembers that morning the week after she started school when she asked me if she had a dad. She caught me off guard, and it took me a couple of minutes to answer her.
"You said he went away." She tells me my words. “But he loved me."
"I did,” I say, the tears dripping off my chin. My hand goes out to hold hers. “Well …"
Reed’s hand covers ours, and he speaks now for the first time. “I’m your dad," Reed says, and I look over at him and then back at Sofia.
"Why didn’t you come for me?" she asks him and tilts her head to the side. “You didn’t want me?" I gasp, bringing my hand to my mouth.
"I want you more than anything in the world,” he says. “More than you love Caramel and tractors."
"But you didn’t come to see me," she says, and I wonder if we did it at a good time. But when is it a good time to tell your child who their father is? She looks at him, not sure of anything.
"He wanted to come see you,” I say. “But he was far away, and he couldn’t get to you."
"The minute I could come to see you, I came,” he says to her. “And I’m not going away anymore," he says. “Not now, not ever. I’ll be here every single day."
"For breakfast?" she asks, and he nods. “And dinner."
He looks at me. “As long as Momma doesn’t mind cooking for me."
"Momma." She looks at me. “Will you make food for Uncle Reed?"
"Of course,” I say, and she looks back at Reed.
"Can we go see Caramel?" she asks him, and he nods his head.
“Yes,” he says. “But, um, first, my momma and my dad want to come and meet you." My eyes open wide. “They should be here soon."
I jump up now and look down at my outfit. "I have to change." I look at Sofia. “We have to change."
Sofia must think it’s a game because she starts to laugh as if it’s a joke. “Let’s go." I grab her hand and pick her up to move faster. "All we have are farm clothes." I look over at Reed, who has his hands on his hips.
"Well, they just got here, so …” He smiles, and I hear the sound of a door close.
"Oh my God,” I say, my nerves getting the better of me. “Oh my God." I put Sofia down. “I didn’t even brush my hair." I look at him, the bile in my stomach slowly rising, and I put my hand to it. "I think I’m going to be sick."