"I don’t think it was all us," I say, not wanting him to feel bad.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Watching him every single day with her is like him seeing life from her eyes. It’s like he’s reliving his childhood, and for the first time, he isn’t angry about it." He puts his arm around my shoulders. “That's all you." Reed must feel our eyes on him because he looks over and smiles, waving his hand in the air at us. “As a parent, it doesn’t get better than this." He drops his hand now and walks toward them, watching Sofia giggle when he calls her Caramel Sunshine. I know that the decision I’ve made to stay here is the right one. I just hope Reed also thinks so.
Chapter 31
Reed
"Do you want to go and put her to bed?" Hazel asks as she gets up from the table and takes the plates away. “She looks like she’s already half asleep." She motions with her head toward Sofia, who holds her head up with her hand.
"Yeah,” I say, looking over at Hazel, who has been quiet all night long. Actually, she was silent all day long.
"Do you need me to help you clean up?" I ask, and she just shakes her head, her eyes not even meeting mine.
"I’m fine,” she says nonchalantly.
"Okay, my girl,” I say to Sofia, clapping my hands together. “Time for a bath and bed."
I hold out my hands. “Okay, Daddy,” she says, and her eyes can barely stay open. She stopped calling me Uncle Daddy Reed and then just went with Daddy. I swear to God I thought my knees would give out, and I would fall into a heaping mess while I sobbed like a baby.
I walk with her to the guest bathroom. "Bath or shower?" I ask as she puts her head on my shoulder. "How about we do a nice hot bath?” I say. "And then you can climb right into bed."
Turning on the water, I set her on the toilet, and her head falls forward. “Dad, do I have to take a bath?"
I peel off her socks, and dust comes out of them. “Yes,” I say and stand her up. The bath is as fast as I can go, and when I tuck her into bed, she’s asleep before I walk out of the room. I leave the door ajar and turn on the night-light I put in the hallway for her.
When I walk back into the kitchen, it’s spotless and very, very empty. I look around and then find her sitting outside on the back porch. “Hey," I say, pushing open the door. "I was looking for you."
She looks over her shoulder. “Just watching the stars." She looks up. “Is she sleeping?"
"Out before I even left the room,” I say, sitting next to her. I look down at my hands. If it was last night, I would have put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her to me. But today, telling her I love you was a mistake. Not that I regret telling her, but that maybe she wasn’t ready to hear it.
"I have to tell you something,” she says softly, and I can feel her pulling away from me. My heart is starting to beat erratically as the thought of losing her becomes so much more real.
"No," I say, my tone coming out a bit harder than I want it to. “Before you say anything." I look at her. My heart yearns to touch her, but I'm not sure she'll let me. This woman, who didn’t hold any grudges toward me for bailing on her when she needed me. This woman, who, without a doubt, saved my fucking soul when I was drowning, yet I didn’t even know. "I’m sorry about this morning."
"What happened this morning?" she asks, confused.
"I told you I love you." I repeat the words.
"So you don’t love me?" Her eyes fill with tears, and the torture of seeing her in pain is too much to bear.
"Of course I love you,” I say. “God, I love you so much, but I know you aren’t there yet." She holds her hand up to talk, but I shake my head. “I know it’s too soon. I know we just got back together and you probably aren’t ready for it. I mean, we weren’t really together before." My own tears come to my eyes now. “I want to remind you of what I said before. I’ll go wherever you go, whenever. I don’t care as long as you two are there."
She puts her palm on my cheek. Her touch calms my nerves. I turn my head and kiss the palm of her hand. “Is that so?" she asks with a little smirk. "What if I told you that I’ve decided to stay here?"