Relentless (Mason Family 4)
Page 48
“Not your boss.”
“Not my boss at a job that has the capacity to literally change my life.”
My best friend sighs. It’s the sound of her daydreams falling back into reality.
I run a finger along the edge of the steering wheel, feeling the heat of the leather against my fingers. The warmth reminds me of Oliver’s hand on my face and the heat of his lips against mine. The sturdiness of his body as he held me close.
If only …
“How has he acted today?” Lisbeth asks.
A short, snappy laugh escapes my lips. Tension creeps through my muscles. “Well, I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Huh?”
My hand drops to the seat. “He hasn’t come into the office today. I’m not sure if that’s normal behavior for him or not. I haven’t worked here long enough to know. But I do find it suspicious that he’s not here the morning after he kissed me.”
“I’m sure he’s not avoiding you, Shaye.”
I hum. It’s not in agreement or disagreement—just an uncertain middle ground that isn’t very fun.
My stomach flip-flops as the anxiety that I’ve fought against so hard since last night takes over. The turkey sandwich sits heavily in my belly. My palms begin to sweat as I let the quiet of the moment invade my thoughts and pull me in a direction I don’t want to go.
If Oliver is avoiding me—if he thought things through and realized he made a mistake—then where does that leave me? “I assure you that this won’t affect your job.” I want to trust him. I desperately want to believe those words and the man who I think he is.
But can I?
This company is even more important to him than the EA position is to me. What if he decides that kissing your employee is bad for business because, objectively speaking, it is?
What happens then? I start from scratch? I go back to scraping together every dime I can find to pay off Luca’s fucking debt? Stressing every morning, noon, and night that I’m going to default on Luca’s loan and my mother will lose her house?
I couldn’t live with myself if that happened. We might not talk, and I might not even like her very much, but I refuse to default on the loan. If nothing else than for my pride. It would be the definite end to our relationship, and I’m not ready for that.
Not even if it’s probably for the best.
“Stop.” Lisbeth’s voice is stern. “Stop right now.”
“Stop what?”
This time, her sigh is filled with annoyance. “Your boss is clearly a successful businessman. He knows how to manage his life, Shaye.”
“What’s your point?” I wave at Genevieve as she walks toward the building.
“My point is that you are so sure he’s going to decide you were a mistake that you’re discounting all the possibilities! You’re shutting doors that are wide open at the moment.”
I bite my lip, worrying it back and forth between my teeth.
I’m not sure how to define the overwhelming notion building inside me since last night. Shame? Guilt? Both are probably true. But if I really, truly think about it, there’s a little relief mixed in there too.
I messed things up. I knew better than to let my emotions get the best of me. Believing that the kiss could go anywhere without repercussions was yet another eye-roll moment for Shaye Marie Brewer.
At least I’m consistent at screwing up my life.
“You think,” she continues, “that if you shut down any potential open doors that it’ll somehow be easier than if he does it. Because you’re convinced he will. You’re not giving him a chance to fling those babies wide freaking open.”
I laugh at the imagery. I also smile at the lifeline she’s tossing my way. While I highly doubt that Oliver will walk in and decide that risking an office affair with his new EA is a smart gamble to take, I appreciate the faith she’s putting in me. It helps to hear it.
God, I love her.
“Let him decide,” she says. “If he can make decisions to keep a multimillion-dollar business running, I’m pretty sure he can adult his way through a kiss with a woman he’s been attracted to since hello.”
“You make this feel so romantic,” I say as I shut off my car.
“Because it is. It can be. It might be if you don’t friend-zone him.”
I cringe.
“You’ve already told him you’re friends, haven’t you?” she asks. “You’ve already tried to head him off.”
I don’t answer.
“Shaye!”
“What?” I ask, grabbing my purse from the passenger’s seat. “It felt like the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. It gives him an out.”
She fake cries into the phone. “How can someone with so much potential like you be so …”
“Dumb?”
“I was going to go with self-destructive.”
I ignore her and open the door.
The air is warm as I step foot in the parking lot. My car locks behind me with two quick beeps before heading into the elevator.