When I look into the future, my life is clear. It’s me and Shaye, a couple of kids bebopping around the house, and maybe a puppy. The vision sends chills up my spine. That’s exactly what I want. What I have to have. Nothing else will suffice.
But as I watch Pops, I bet that he, too, had his life pictured. And this wasn’t it. He went wrong somewhere, and he deserves the love and support that he’s given us.
“I can’t speak for Mom,” I tell him. “But I’m sure that she’ll listen to you. And I’m sure she would want to help.”
He frowns. “She used to look at me like I hung the moon, Ollie. How do I let her see me like this?”
“It might be better than her just thinking you don’t love her anymore.”
He shrugs as if it doesn’t matter. “I’ve not been there for her. I’ve said things to her that I shouldn’t. Hell, I’ve probably said things that I don’t even remember.”
“Well, that’s for the two of you to handle. And, again, I don’t speak for my mother, but she’s stuck around for a reason.”
“Why, do you think?”
“I honestly don’t know. But there’s hope for you.”
He blinks back tears again. “She’s leaving me. She told me. And when her mind is made up … I can’t blame her.” He grips the armrests. “You’ve treated me better than I deserve. What about your brothers? What do you think they will say?”
I get to my feet and walk to the refrigerator under the bar. I pull out two waters and give one to my dad.
“Holt will understand. He’s levelheaded that way. Coy’s seen a lot of shit like this. He’d be happy to help you. He wants you around to see his son.”
Dad smiles.
“Boone will be fine. The kid is softhearted. It’s probably to his benefit and detriment.”
Dad chuckles. “That boy is something.”
“Something is right.”
I take a drink and look at my father over the bottle. There’s a bit of hope sprinkled in his watery irises, and I’m happy to see it. I’m happy I could help put it there.
I don’t know what this means for our family, but I know we’ll make it through this. It is what families do.
Dad sets his bottle on my desk unopened. He stands.
“I came to see you first because I know you’re the strongest out of my boys,” he says, his voice somber. “You have always had such a good head on your shoulders. You step up. You don’t back down from a challenge.”
My mouth goes dry. “Really?”
“I know that if your mother does leave me that she’ll be fine because she has you to look after her.”
I’ve never been much of a crier but hearing my father share this with me nearly makes tears gather in my eyes. My heart fills with pride.
“I hope that if you ever find a woman who you love, someone like your mother, I’d hope—I hope that you snatch her up. That kind of woman—strong, honest, loyal—is hard to find. Mark my words.”
His words are marked and trigger an immediate thought of Shaye.
I love you.
Her eyes were full of disbelief … and uncertainty. Obviously, she was unsure. Look at the examples of love she’s had in her life.
Shaye is everything my father said. She’s strong and truthful. She’s beautiful and full of grace. She’s a hard worker and loyal—she won’t leave Nate because she promised she’d stick around.
Shaye is the love of my life. Even though she might not realize it yet, she loves me. And if she doesn’t, I’ll love her until she does.
“You’re going to be a great husband and father someday.”
I grin. “Yeah. I will.” I walk around my desk and flick my mouse. “But right now, I need to be a good son to my father. He might’ve tried to fuck up his life, but I’m not going to let him.”
I feel my dad’s gaze on my face as I search for substance abuse centers. I sense the tears falling down his cheeks.
“Thank you, Ollie.”
My hand stills on the keyboard, and I look at him. We still have things to say, fences to mend, but none of that can happen until we jump this hurdle.
And we’re family. We’ll do it together.
“I love you, Pops.”
“I love you, son.”
My fingers fly over the keyboard, but my attention slips to Shaye.
We are family too, my lady. Just you wait and see.
Thirty
Shaye
“You look happy.” Nate rolls his eyes as he walks by.
“Why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?” I scoop ice into glasses. “I like being happy.”
“I like it when you’re happy too. Except, when someone is happy, that means they’re setting themselves up for being unhappy because the only way to go is down.”
I gasp. “You’re such a downer.”
“More realist, but whatever you think.”