“Hey, I’ll have you know our small town was featured in Landman Monthly magazine,” he said with false indignation.
I chuckled. “Don’t know what that is which oughta tell you something.”
Doc grinned back. “It’s a periodical for oil and mineral rights management in Texas.”
We both cracked up at that until someone nearby farted, which only made us laugh some more. When we finally settled down, I told him about the class I’d taken on land use and mineral rights management. Part of me hoped it would be boring enough to help him drift off to sleep and get some shut-eye, but part of me just wanted to keep the conversation going a bit longer with the man who made me smile and forget where I was for a while.
My mention of land use set him off on another round of questions. Doc Wilde was hungry for knowledge. He’d interrogate any interesting fellow so long as the man would stand still long enough to answer him. But that night was the first time in a long time I felt the full force of someone’s interest solely on me. Doc made me feel like I had something important to say, so we stayed up all night talking about everything from my background in the army to Doc’s daydreams about getting an advanced science degree after the war.
Doc chuckled when the subject came back around to his father’s huge Texas ranch and how Doc himself had had a special love affair with a particular brown-spotted Texas longhorn when he was a young boy.
“I named him Perry after Perry Como since I figured I’d love him till the end of time,” he explained with a glint in his eye. “You know, like the song.”
I couldn’t help but notice how this quirky kid from Texas was the only person who’d ever made me glad to be in Vietnam. I wouldn’t have given that moment up for the world right then. Seeing him grin and describe the lovesick little boy sneaking out to moon over a cow was a treat.
“What happened to him?”
Doc gave me a look that made it perfectly clear. I chuckled. “Ah, the great green pasture in the sky?”
“Smart alec,” he scoffed. “I’ll have you know, I didn’t eat meat for a full three days in protest.”
I put my hand on my heart and gasped. “Three whole days? My oh my, now that’s dedication to a cause.”
We laughed softly into the steamy darkness until I realized the corporal was awake again.
“What the fuck, Band-Aid? How’d you get Major Hard-ass here to crack a smile? You got some magic touch?”
Doc’s eyes met mine for a split second before turning to look at the man next to him. It was only the briefest moment, but it was the kind of connection I’d been missing since twenty years before when I’d goofed off with my baby sister.
“I was treating the man’s funny bone, Perkins,” Doc said. “Leave the major alone or I’m sure he’ll make you go fetch us some coffee.”
I swallowed down my grin and remembered my rank, narrowing my eyes in a glare at the corporal before getting up to check on the security status. When I returned to my spot, I noticed the corporal had dozed off and Doc was still wide-awake.
We sat in silence for a little while until Doc turned to me. “That night… the crash… it’s…” I could tell from his voice what he was trying to say.
“It’s going to stay with you, Doc. And the first time’s the worst,” I said only loud enough for him to hear. “It never gets easy, but the first casualties that happen right in front of you in combat are like… well, they’re like the ones that reset your compass to how bad it really is here. It’s like a damned wake-up call of the worst kind.”
I felt him turn to look at me, but I kept my focus on my clasped hands over the rifle in my lap.
“How can I keep from remembering?” Doc asked in a desperate voice. “All I can see is Rusnak in front of me one minute and…”
He didn’t need to say the rest. I reached out to clasp his biceps and squeezed. “You think about those babies you got back home, Doc. That’s what you do. You remember Billy and how much you want to get home to teach him how to throw a ball. You think about giving the girls away at their weddings one day. And you focus on that when the bad memories come. Now show me that picture you have.”
The edge of his lip turned up in a grin as he shifted his weight to pull the little square from a pocket. “Yeah? You want to see three perfect angels?”
I snorted. “Perfect, huh? Not sure as I believe you, Lieutenant Wilde.”