Wilde Love (Forever Wilde 6)

“And what if it’s true, Mom? Would that be so bad?”

“Liam!” My mother gasped. “Don’t even joke about such a thing.”

“I’m not joking. Why is it anyone’s business? Why can’t a man’s love life be his own concern?”

She studied me. “It’s our concern when he’s like an uncle to your children. When he’s in charge of all the hands for the farm and ranch, some of whom are impressionable young men away from home for the first time. Son, even if it didn’t matter to us, it would matter to the entire town. We would be a laughingstock. The kids would be ostracized. If he really is—” She lowered her voice in case maybe Jesus was listening. “—a homosexual, then we need to consider encouraging him to move along. It would be best for everyone.”

The reality of my life, my decisions, my actions hit me like a kick to the chest. My father had always taught me that decisions had repercussions, and this was one of those times I couldn’t deny the truth of it.

What had I been thinking? That we could just… be together? Like a true couple, a real family? Was I crazy? What had I been thinking? I hadn’t been thinking.

My mom was right. The kids would be bullied. All the farm hands and ranch hands would quit. Well, some of them anyway. And my father’s life’s work would be all for nothing. My parents would be whispered about behind their backs and left out of events at the church.

I’d known all of that. Of course I had. But I hadn’t stopped to be deliberate about my actions. I hadn’t thought to sit Major down and go through what we could and couldn’t do if we wanted to be together like this. I needed to talk to him.

But before that, I needed to think through what was best for my children, my parents. Me.

My mom’s cool hand covered mine. “I know you love him like a brother, Liam. I know this is hard for you.”

I looked up at her, trying desperately not to cry like a child. “You have no idea, Mom.” I wanted her to understand. I wanted her not to be a bigot like everyone else. “When you… when you’re facing the enemy and you have to make a split-second decision about who lives and dies… well, it puts a lot of things into perspective. Even when you have to decide when to take a man’s leg off, you don’t stop and think about his race, his sexuality, where he’s from, or whether or not he has a family back home. You think about his quality of life, his health, his happiness. Period. In Vietnam I learned about what was really important, Mom. And if that man—” My voice cracked. “If that man is happiest in the arms of another man, I will shout my thanks to the heavens that he is happy and whole and here with us, and that he’s found the love he deserves.”

I mumbled an excuse me and made my way upstairs to the privacy of my own room before I broke down completely. I fell asleep and didn’t get woken up for supper which was probably for the best. Eventually I rallied enough to put the girls to bed. We were reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe together, so I knew they wouldn’t have let me skip it anyway.

I tried calling Major, but there was no answer. Despite knowing he would have welcomed me there, I forced myself not to go over to his house to check on him and spend some time with him before bed. But since I had an early shift at the clinic in the morning, I went to bed instead.

The next day was nuts at the clinic the way it always is on Mondays, so I didn’t have time to tune in to the gossip. But when I moved from one patient room to another, I heard a nurse telling another about the man they’d found beaten half to death out on one of the lesser-traveled country roads. It was nowhere near the ranch, thank god, so I didn’t do much more than send up a little prayer for the man and his doctors over at the regional hospital. Until I realized one of the nurses was Deb and she said something about the bastard deserving what he got.

“What are you talking about? Who is it?” I asked.

She didn’t even need to say his name. I could tell by the guilty look on her face it was Major.

I dropped everything and ran.

Chapter 32

Weston “Major” Marian

I hadn’t told Doc the whole story of what had happened with Deb. As soon as I’d brushed off her advances, she’d accused me of being gay. Not in those words, of course. She’d spat nasty slurs and threatened to out me to everyone in town. After retiring from the army, I’d sworn to myself I’d never blatantly lie about my sexuality again, so I didn’t lie to her. I simply apologized for upsetting her and went on my way.