He's off-limits, I reminded myself.
The argument worked for all of fifteen seconds because when I reached my truck and leaned in to open the door for Lucky, he chose that moment to turn into me and press his forehead against my chest. I'd dressed up a bit for my dinner with Tag and his family, so I was wearing a button-up shirt that I'd left open at the throat. The result was that Lucky's lush lips were just centimeters from my bare skin.
I found myself wrapping my arm around Lucky's waist. I told myself it wasn't to keep him where he was but rather to support him in case his knees gave out.
My inner voice called bullshit on me, but I ignored it.
Lucky sighed loudly as he pressed himself more firmly against my body. I nearly came on the spot when his nose pressed against my sternum and he inhaled deeply.
"You smell like the woods," he murmured drowsily. "My favorite place is the woods." His words were still slurred, but his hold on me was strong and the sensation of his fingers curling against my shoulder blades was playing havoc with my emotions.
"Sorry," he said after a moment's pause.
I found myself stroking his hair with my free hand. The noise from the club was spilling onto the streets and there were kids in various stages of drunkenness walking up and down the sidewalk behind us, but we might as well have been the only two people on the planet for all the attention I paid any of the commotion. "What are you sorry for?"
Lucky nuzzled his nose against my chest and this time when he drew in my scent, his lips ended up brushing against my hot skin.
"All of it," he said with a sigh. "Christmas, chasing you away… my stinger always swelling when you're around."
I wasn't sure if it was his use of the term stinger or the dramatic way he said it, like it was the most annoying thing in the world, but I found myself chuckling. I dropped my chin to his head and wrapped both arms around him. "You didn't chase me away, Lucky," I said. It was only a part-truth, but I couldn't tell him why I'd really left. I couldn't tell him that even if he hadn't chased me, I'd been frighteningly close to pursuing him, to claiming him.
To taking advantage of him.
"It was just time for me to move on," I murmured. "It had nothing to do with you," I lied.
He was silent for so long that I actually thought he'd fallen asleep, but then he whispered, "I wish you could like me, Zach. Even just a little. Even if it was like when we first met."
Despite the powerful words, there was little emotion in Lucky's voice as he spoke them. Somehow that was more disturbing than his belief that I didn't like him.
"What do you mean?" I asked. "I like you just fine." I cringed as soon as I heard the patronizing words. I struggled to find the right thing to say, the right way to take back my statement without telling him the truth—that I liked him a lot more than just fine—but I couldn't get my voice to work. My throat felt tight while my chest seemed to have a cinderblock sitting in the middle of it. The last time I'd admitted to any kind of feelings toward another person, it had nearly destroyed me. I couldn't… wouldn't do it again.
Lucky was so quiet that I once again thought he’d drifted off, hoped for it even, but then he was pushing gently against my chest. There was little fight in him, so it would've been easy enough to hold on to him. I almost did just that because I was reluctant to give up on the press of his body against mine, but then he said, "Please, Zach, I'm going to be sick."
I released him enough that he could turn away from me. He bent over and threw up into the gutter. I kept my hand on his back as best I could as I reached into my truck and grabbed my bottle of water from the console between the front seats. Lucky refused to make eye contact with me after the violent retching ended. There was no mistaking the tears running down his face, though, and while I could've attributed them to the act of vomiting, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe some of those tears were there for an entirely different reason. I handed Lucky the water and tried to avert my eyes so I wouldn't embarrass him as he rinsed out his mouth. My phone buzzed in my pocket. A quick glance at the screen showed a text from Minna.
Where are you? Do you have him?
I kept my answer simple. Yes. Outside.