Hot as Heller (Aster Valley 3)

“What is it?” I growled into the radio mic.

“Matt needs y—”

I didn’t even let her finish. “On my way, and tell Rollins to bring his sidearm and badge to my office first thing in the morning.” Aster Valley had no use for a deputy who couldn’t help Matt close his damned bar in the middle of the night. Was I being an asshole? Maybe. But at least the command would scare him into compliance.

When I arrived at the bar, the entire vibe was different. It wasn’t quite as late as it had been the night before, and people were still emptying their glasses from the recent last call. Music continued to pipe through the speakers, and a game of pool was in progress at the table in the corner.

I went directly to Matt before approaching Rolly.

“What the hell is going on?”

Matt pursed his lips in anger. “It’s those Hollywood guys. They offered everyone free drinks and conveniently forgot to close out. Every time Dakota tries to present them with a bill, the crowd around them squeezes her out. So I went over there and demanded a credit card. The kid put a stack of cash in the folder instead. When I got it back over here, I saw it was singles. Nowhere near enough to cover what they bought.”

Dakota leaned over the bar and whispered. “Honestly, he’s too drunk to realize what he’s doing. I say we just grab his wallet.”

I held up a hand to stop her. “Let me handle it. What’s he still owe you?”

When Matt handed me the new bill, my eyes nearly bugged out of my face. “Congrats,” I muttered to Matt before walking over and disbursing the crowd around our erstwhile actors. On the way, I found Rolly and told him to get out to the lot and make sure no one drove drunk.

Sitting at the table was the same group of three men and two women from the night before. Finn, his blond groupie, another actor I recognized as Logan Shaw, whose roles in action films usually embodied every aspect of toxic masculinity, a petite woman with long ebony hair straight as a board down her back, and a woman with full cheeks and a big smile, who seemed to giggle drunkenly at everything around her. There were also a few fans interspersed between them, and I noticed Russ Grant had his arm around Finn.

“Closing time,” I said, grinding my teeth. Some of us had actual work to do during the day and couldn’t keep waking up at all hours to put the kids to bed. “And the bill is due. Which one of you has a credit card for Matt?”

Everyone’s eyes went to Finn. He seemed to be swaying in his seat, and his eyes were unfocused. I flicked my eyes to his blond friend. “I thought you said he didn’t drink?”

The friend snorted, and someone elbowed him.

“Kix, don’t be an ass,” one of the ladies said. “It’s true. He doesn’t usually drink. But he was… different tonight.”

Kix snorted again. “Different like horny.”

Russ squeezed closer to Finn in the large booth. “Shhh. Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you tonight.”

Like hell he was. I knew Russ was an upstanding guy, and he probably meant well. I just didn’t care. “Credit card,” I said again.

One of the ladies leaned over to Finn. “Finn, they need your card to pay the bill.”

He almost fell out of the chair trying to get his wallet out of his pocket, but when he did, he handed the entire thing to me. “I know you’re not the valet, okay? I know. You’re…” His face suddenly creased in confusion. “The waiter?”

Everyone at the table started laughing as if it was the best joke that had ever been told. They were all hammered.

I opened the worn leather wallet and saw Finn’s driver’s license. Finnegan Joseph Heller with a familiar address in Santa Monica. He also had a condom that looked like it had been in there a while, a membership card to someplace called “Jack’s Personal Fitness,” a health insurance card, a bank card, and a black American Express card.

He was twenty-four years old. A newborn baby.

I slid out the Amex card and handed it to Dakota. “Add twenty percent,” I told her under my breath.

“Make it thirty,” Finn slurred. “She never once got mad at us.”

I nodded to Dakota and turned back to Finn. “Come on, let me help you up. Deputy Kepplow can take some of you home, and I’ll take the rest.”

When Russ slid out of the booth and stood up, he gave me a firm nod. “No worries, Sheriff. I’ll make sure Finn gets home okay. My place is just around the corner.”

Finn’s forehead crinkled in confusion. “But I’m not staying at your place.”

“Tonight you are, babe,” Russ said with a chuckle. “You’re way too hammered to get home by yourself. You can sleep on my couch.” He paused. “Or in my bed.”