Virgin Flyer

I made a sound of agreement and returned to making sure everything was closed and stowed properly and Rourke was strapped in. Sometimes he liked to sit in the copilot’s seat during flight, but today he said he had work to do on his laptop. It was probably for the best. I enjoyed talking to him during the flight when he sat up front with me, but the last couple of times I’d gotten the feeling he was flirting with me. Normally, I would have flirted back, but I was so twisted up inside about Teo, I didn’t have much energy for that lately.

“Are you going to the funeral?” Rourke asked, sounding like my sister.

“It’s on Saturday,” I said. Today was Thursday. I was scheduled to fly Rourke to San Diego Saturday morning for a conference where he was delivering the keynote address that evening.

“Shit, Jack. I can request another pilot. Take the day off and go be with your friend.”

“Not sure he wants me there, honestly,” I admitted, talking over my shoulder as I climbed into the pilot’s seat. “It’s complicated.”

“Ahh. One of those. I see.” He was quiet for a few moments while I continued getting us ready to taxi out. After another couple of minutes, he asked, “Are you two seeing each other?”

“No,” I said firmly. “Definitely not. He’s in a relationship already.” Which was technically true, even though the type of relationship might have been up in the air. After Chris’s display at the baseball game, I had no doubt he had true feelings for Teo. His jealousy and anger were proof enough of that.

“And what about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

I turned around to see if this was just his usual flirtation, but his face was serious.

“No,” I said. “If you’d asked me six months ago, I would have told you I wasn’t interested in settling down. Now… now, I’m not so sure. But it’s tough with this job, you know?”

He smiled and nodded in understanding. “Believe me, I know exactly what you mean,” he said with a chuckle before returning to whatever he’d been doing on his phone.

Rourke was a handsome man. His smile was dimpled, and his warm brown eyes twinkled. From living life in a wheelchair, he had big, strong shoulders and muscular arms as well as a stacked chest. He was well respected among his peers, and we’d shared several meals together while traveling. I wondered what his love-life story was, whether his physical challenges played a role in his being single or whether it was more by choice or job circumstances. At one point, he’d mentioned enjoying the freedom to travel without having to answer to a partner, but I knew from personal experience now there could come a time where that balance tipped the other direction.

Maybe it wasn’t “answering to a partner” as much as “having someone to miss you when you were gone.”

When I got home to my empty apartment, the feeling became even more pronounced. Since I’d jumped straight into my new job after moving in several months ago, there were still boxes half unpacked and there was nothing on the walls making the place look even remotely lived in. I thought about Teo’s little studio apartment where he had photos of his niece in her soccer uniform and pictures of his parents on their retirement cruise hanging on the wall. He had several little pottery knickknacks on a shelf by his bed that had been made for him by some of his patients at the senior home. His cats’ toys were scattered here and there on the floor, the mug I’d had my coffee in had said “World’s Okayest Nurse” on it, and one of his coat hooks had several colorful 5k and half-marathon medals hanging from it.

Teo’s tiny studio was more of a home than my spacious two-bedroom apartment probably ever would be. And even if my place was fully put together and homey, I’d still probably rather spend my time at the smaller studio.

Because that’s where Teo was.

I stripped my clothes off and stepped into a hot shower to wash away the travel grime. Millie had texted a few times this week to check up on me and ask if I wanted her to come into the city to stay with me for a few days. I’d also gotten a call from Chelsea asking if I wanted to go running in the park one day this weekend. I’d politely dismissed both of them, but now I wondered if I shouldn’t plan some things outside of work to keep my mind off Teo.

Oh, who was I kidding? I needed to plan some things to help me get over Teo.

It was early, but I hadn’t been sleeping well all week. Maybe I needed to get some rest. Once I got into bed, I pulled my phone out and scrolled through Grindr, wondering not for the first time if a hookup with someone else would help erase the fresh memory of my time with Teo. As soon as my gut began twisting with thoughts of cheating, I tossed the phone down in a huff.