I flapped my hand in a dismissive gesture he couldn’t see. “That doesn’t count. Marchie is in love with you. Everyone knows that.”
Silence from the other end. “What?”
“Come on. Don’t act like you don’t know that man is desperate to make babies with you. But back to me. What should I do?”
“Not back to you. Back to me. You think Marchie’s in love with me? But that…” His voice trailed off. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
My brother was oblivious. “Fine. He’s not. That’s probably why he wasn’t the first person to beg me to donate the bone marrow, as if I wasn’t going to do it anyway.”
“Oh,” he said, sounding relieved. “Well, yeah. He was worried about me. And you’re right. He does love me. As a friend. Now, back to Nine. Talk to him. Ask him what he thinks about it.”
“I already know what he’s going to say. He’s going to encourage me to follow my dreams. He’s going to tell me he’ll do anything on earth to help me achieve what I want in life. And then he’s going to slink back to Wyoming and fade into the woodwork while I go on to stardom in LA. At least, that’s the way it would happen if he had a say.”
“Surely he has visions of a bigger life than working at Walt’s? Why else would he have taken this opportunity with Stallion?”
For you, I thought. “For me. He knew I wanted to… use it as a platform to get discovered.” That sounded lame, but I wasn’t going to put more pressure on Jacks by implying Nine had done it for him, for the medical bills. And I knew Nine would never admit that was the reason, but I’d figured it out pretty easily. He wasn’t all that great at lying.
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
I stroked Nacho’s silky ear and sighed. “Yeah. That’s him. He’s the sweetest.”
“So talk to him. Tell him you like him.”
Nacho’s ears perked up. “I have. He knows.”
I heard the smile in his voice again. “I’m happy to hear that, brother. Anyone is better than Lee Chambers.”
I thought of the man I’d happily left behind when I’d left LA to move back to Colorado. “I was never in a relationship with Lee. Not really.”
“Not for lack of trying,” Jacks scoffed.
“Listen, can we not talk about Lee, please?”
The RV door opened and Nine came stomping in.
My brother ignored me. “I think Lee is one of the reasons why you won’t give this guy a real chance. It’s relevant.”
My eyes stayed riveted on the big frame in the main area of the RV, kicking off his boots by the door and washing his hands in the sink. For some reason, my heart rate took off. Was he mad at me for the LA thing?
But then he turned his head and searched for me, the concern etched in his face. His eyes brightened when he saw me awake, and his grin split wide, showing off white teeth against his brown beard. “Hey, baby, you okay?”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t look away from him. My entire body felt oddly frozen with relief. He wasn’t upset with me, thank fuck.
“Jacks, I gotta go.” My voice came out strangely breathy.
“Okay, but think about what I said. You deserve to have it all, Coop. It doesn’t have to be the job or the guy. It can be both.”
I ended the call and set the phone on the tiny side table, all the while keeping my eyes pinned on Nine. When he came closer to the bedroom, he ducked his head in. “Gonna take a quick rinse to get the sweat and drywall dust off. You need anything? Ice water? Pain meds?”
I shook my head and held out my arms for him. He frowned for a minute before stepping into the room. “What is it?” he asked, pulling one of my hands to his mouth for a kiss before leaning in and kissing my forehead.
“Nothing,” I said. “I just wanted to feel you. Go shower.”
He continued to frown down at me, but I plastered on a smile. “You sure?”
I nodded and clamped my teeth together. “Yep.”
He narrowed his eyes before turning and stripping off what remained of his clothes. By this time of day he was already down to only jeans and boots, so I had a killer view of his sweaty back muscles as he walked away.
As soon as he was safely in the tiny bathroom with the water running, I closed my eyes and gave myself a stern talking-to.
This. This was what I avoided like the plague. Attaching my happiness to another person was a recipe for fucking disaster. I’d watched for years while my brother didn’t reciprocate Marchie’s feelings and Marchie suffered in silence. Then I’d met Lee and learned what it was like to be in Marchie’s position. Having feelings for someone you couldn’t be with was like being the next person to board Space Mountain at Disneyland when suddenly they stopped the line to let a bunch of VIPs on instead. Except once the VIPs were on board, they closed the ride altogether.