“Nine,” Eli said when he finally calmed down enough to speak. “You’re not gay. You’re what a magician would call highly suggestible. If you really do think you have feelings for Cooper, it’s probably from spending too much time around him. He’s awesome, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not gay.”
“You’re right. I’m not gay,” I admitted, but before he had a chance to gloat, I continued. “I’m something else. Gray, demi, I don’t know really. But what I do know is that I have strong feelings for Cooper Heath, and those strong feelings have led to sex. Lots and lots of sex. Gay sex.”
The silence on the other end was satisfying. Finally he said, “You’re pulling my leg.”
I sighed. “Can we talk about this later? I haven’t heard from him all afternoon and I’m starting to worry.”
“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s probably lost track of time because he’s having such a good time out there. He’s wanted to be cast in a movie since he was a little boy. This is like his dream finally coming true. At least, if he gets it. But he made it sound like the audition went really well.”
“You talked to him today?”
“Just text. I messaged him to tell him about a friend of ours from school who’s getting married, and Coop texted back he’d just come out of the studio.”
I didn’t say anything, and after a minute, Eli asked, “You haven’t heard from him?”
“No, I did. He said the same. Audition went well. But that was hours ago, and there’s been nothing since.”
My brother’s laugh was easy and free. “I’m sure he’s just busy with friends. I know there are some dance clubs he likes there, and it’s been forever since he’s been able to go out and let off some steam. Calm down and watch a movie or something. Don’t work yourself to death. Hear me?”
“Mpfh.”
“I mean it. I know you, and this is prime ‘Nine tries to be a hero’ bullshit. No one needs you to be a hero right now.”
Sometimes I hated my family.
“Thanks for the advice.” Asshole.
I hung up the phone and tried Cooper again, but when the phone rang and rang, I had to admit defeat. Eli was right. Cooper was probably out partying at some loud club. I could just picture his sexy body in formfitting clothes in the middle of a dance floor with colored lights flashing all around. He’d probably draw everyone’s attention, and other men would want to dance with him and put their hands on him.
I wanted to punch something. I wanted to throw a fucking boulder across the clearing and smash everything to bits. The idea of having had every fucking thing I never knew I wanted just to have to let it go again was worse than never having known what I was missing.
Nacho let out a loud sigh from his spot on the floor as he settled into sleep. It was late. I cleaned up after myself and stripped for bed. No good-night video tonight. I didn’t even want to look at Instagram and see our happy faces. I couldn’t bear the thought of acting like I was in a relationship with Cooper right now while he could very well be out dancing with other men. And maybe that was selfish and childish of me, but I was also tired as hell. I just wanted to close my eyes and stop thinking for a while.
But when I closed my eyes, all I could see was Cooper’s sweaty skin on the dance floor, his shirtless abs contracting as he moved his hips to the music.
My dick was certainly happy about my brain’s obsession, even if my heart wasn’t.
I reached down and stroked it. Fucking great. If there was such a thing as an angry jack-off session, this was it. I reached over to the side table and grabbed the lube, grumbling under my breath the entire time about what an idiot I was.
But the images of Cooper’s enticing body were too hot to ignore. And the memory of sliding into his tight heat brought me to the edge. Before he’d left, he’d ridden me with his eyes closed and his head thrown back. My hands had moved all over his chest and stomach until I used both of them to jack him off. When he’d come, he’d shot all over my chest and stomach which had been one of the hottest things ever.
I kicked off the covers and stroked myself until the orgasm finally hit hard and fast. But then it was over just as fast.
And I realized it was the first of many, many times I would come alone in bed to the memory of Cooper Heath.
24
Cooper
I hadn’t realized my phone was missing until Evie and I had been to at least a dozen different shops around LA. By the time we called around to figure out which one had it, the shop was closing and wouldn’t reopen until ten the following morning.