Say You'll Be Nine

That got a grin out of him. “Eli told me you went there because of some actor who also went there.”

My face heated with embarrassment. “I was a stupid gay kid obsessed with the movie Copacabana. Steve Cochran played Steve Hunt in the film, and he went to the University of Wyoming. Also, I was a little bit in love with Matthew Shepherd from his picture and his story. He went there.” I shrugged. “I just thought it was the perfect combination of far enough away from home but still close enough to get there in an easy drive.”

“So what happened with Lee?”

“I was in a car accident.” Before I could say anything more, Nine’s head snapped up.

“What? When?” Worry marred his face. Always the caretaker.

I reached over and squeezed his arm. “I’m fine. I didn’t have a car when I lived in LA, so I’d taken an Uber down to Culver City for an audition. I stayed in the area afterwards and got dinner with a friend. When I finally got another Uber home, the driver rear-ended someone because he wasn’t paying attention when the guy in front of us slammed on the brakes. Anyway, the car was totaled, and I was stuck on the side of the 405 at night. My head hurt from where I’d banged it on the seat in front of me, and I was scared. The cops weren’t being all that helpful, so I called Lee to come get me.”

Nine’s eyes narrowed because it was clear where this story was going. I tried not to sound too pathetic when I told him the rest. “He was busy. Said he had a really hot guy coming over and if I walked down to the nearest off-ramp, I should be able to get another Uber on a surface street just fine.”

25

Nine

My nostrils flared and I felt my back teeth grind together. “Selfish jackass.”

Cooper moved noodles around on his plate without taking a bite. “Yeah, well. I was stupid expecting more than he was willing to give. After my dad left, I’d sworn I’d never rely on another person in my life, so I kicked myself for feeling so dependent on Lee. He was right. I needed to sort it out for myself. I’m a grown man, right? So I did. I walked a mile down the side of the highway and found a coffee shop on Santa Monica Boulevard. Once I fortified myself, I got a car home.”

“And beat the shit out of Lee, I hope,” I grumbled.

“No, but I didn’t see him again after that except in passing. It wasn’t easy, but my friends helped. They kept me too busy to wallow.”

Thank god for good friends. I needed to remember not to be so jealous of them in the future. “What did he say when you broke up with him?”

Cooper let out a laugh. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Like he didn’t even notice my absence.”

Selfish fucking prick. “Fuck.”

He shrugged. “I spent a long time buying into the bullshit of happy ever after. I blame Disney, honestly.”

He tried to pass it off as a joke, but I wasn’t buying it. His father had done a number on him, but Cooper needed to know not all couples were doomed.

I met his eyes. “My parents have been happily married for almost forty years. My dad brushes my mom’s hair out every night before bed, and my mom makes my dad’s favorite meal every Sunday even though the rest of us hate it. Aaron and Heather are happy as hell. Beth and Gary are perfect for each other and still get starry-eyed when they look at each other. You can’t say happy endings are bullshit. My great-grandparents died holding hands.”

I could tell he thought I was naive, that those were rare exceptions to the rule.

“Well,” he said, clearly hoping to change the subject. “Maybe I’m wrong. I hope you find it.”

I jerked back like he’d hit me. “My happy ever after?” Was he kidding? Was this his way of telling me he’d never even hoped things between us would work out in the long run? It was like a blow to the chest. I felt like I couldn’t get enough oxygen. Had we just been pretending? What the hell was this if it wasn’t real?

“Yeah. Some sweet woman or man back in Wheatland who enjoys this kind of lifestyle. Being outside, fixing things. I’ll bet you’ll have a line out the door when you get back.”

“Line out the door for what? Dates?”

Cooper swallowed, and for a split second it looked like he didn’t like the idea of me dating anyone else. But then it was gone under his same old smile. “Of course, dates. Didn’t you see the billboard photo I posted?”

I felt like my face had gone numb. Was this what it was like to be dumped by someone you loved? It was excruciating.