Then all we’d have left would be the interior decorating. I’d fantasized about doing that part of the project together with Cooper, but things had changed.
I made my way back to the RV and got out my phone to record the good-night video from the still-lit kitchen area. I could hear soft snores from the bedroom area.
“Hi, everyone,” I said in a semi-whisper. “It’s really late. I was still finishing up some work in the cabin, but Coop fell asleep before I got back.”
I walked the camera into the bedroom to show him curled up under the covers with Nacho snoring at his feet.
When I returned to the kitchen and pointed the lens back at myself, I let out a soft laugh. “Honestly, I thought it was Cooper snoring, but I guess it was Nacho. Anyway, that’s a wrap for today. If you didn’t see our fancy billboard, check out the feed for Coop’s earlier post. Have a great night, everyone.”
I finished the recording and posted it before stripping out of my clothes and sliding into bed next to Cooper’s warm body. My feelings were jumbled up like a big tangled ball of cheap yarn, but I knew I still wanted his body next to mine for as long as I could get it. I hauled him over to my side and draped him over my chest the way we normally slept.
“Love you,” he mumbled in his sleep.
Neither of us had said those words to each other for real yet, and it figured the first time I heard them would be when he could have been dreaming about anything. For all I knew, he was imagining his old jackass landlord or even dreaming about comforting his brother in a hospital bed.
I felt hot tears well up and spill over. Never had I ever cried over something so ridiculous. I felt like a child.
But it was time to grow up because someone needed to make some difficult decisions around here, and it was time for that someone to be me.
I just needed time to think first.
26
Cooper
Nine was acting weird, and it had started with the conversation about Lee yesterday. Ever since then, he’d gone back to his silent, grunting routine, only speaking to me long enough to teach me how to sand the drywall in preparation for painting.
He was clearly in his head about something, and I finally couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Are you going to tell me what has you in such a shitty mood?”
Nine’s head whipped up from where he’d been helping the gas guy install the stove. Okay, so maybe I hadn’t picked the best time to bring it up, but I couldn’t hold back any longer.
Nine looked both confused and annoyed. “What are you talking about?”
The gas installer acted like he wasn’t listening.
“You, us, this. You’re in a fucking mood today, and I want to know why. You’ve barely spoken to me all day.”
He gathered up the bits of cardboard and plastic that had been packaged around the stove. “Oh, now we’re telling each other everything, are we? That’s great to know.”
Uh-oh.
He took the trash out to the construction dumpster while I followed behind like an annoying little puppy.
“Tell me what you mean by that,” I snapped.
“Why should I?” he asked, louder than I’d ever heard him speak. His deep voice rang out through the clearing. He threw his hands out to the sides. “It’s not like this is real. It’s not like we’re actually together. You made your feelings very clear last night. We aren’t a thing. This was pretend for the sake of the sponsorship. I get it now, I do.”
What the fuck was he talking about? “That’s not true!”
“Isn’t it? A real couple would have talked about things instead of hiding them. A real couple would have faced a challenge head-on. A real couple—” He stopped and ground his teeth together before turning suddenly and storming off into the woods.
He was so angry, it scared me. Sweet, calm Isaac Winshed never got mad. He never raised his voice. I wasn’t scared of him, but I was scared for him. I hated seeing him this upset. It was like watching Cinderella being pickpocketed by her favorite fat mouse.
“Stop!” I cried. “Stop. Let’s talk about this.”
He didn’t stop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the gas guy slink back to his truck and drive away. What a shitshow. Hopefully he’d at least done everything we’d needed before we scared him off.
“Nine!”
He stopped and spun around. “But we’re not a real couple, are we? We never were. It turns out, you don’t even believe in such a thing, which is sad as fuck, Cooper. It breaks my heart to think you don’t believe you deserve someone to be there for you.” He smacked his chest. “I want to be there for you, dammit. Me. But you’re just so fucking determined to prove you’re a lone wolf. And I get it. You’ve been hurt. You’ve been shit on by people who should have done better by you.”