“No offense, Eli, but you’re not Isaac,” I muttered, leaning over and resting my face in my hands.
“You want Isaac here?”
I snapped my head up and glared at him. “Yes, dammit! How many times do I have to tell you? I want him here. I called him, didn’t I? I told him I was scared, but he still didn’t—”
Eli interrupted me. “He’s out in the parking lot.”
I stared at him. “What?”
“He wanted to be here for you, but he was afraid you didn’t want him. He had grand plans to sneak over to your mom’s house tomorrow and trim the rosebushes or something, I don’t know. Go talk to him.”
But I was already out the door.
31
Nine
I’d just put the dogs back in the RV from a potty break when I heard someone shouting across the parking lot.
“Hey, asshole!”
It was Cooper, and he might as well have had smoke coming out of his nostrils. His pale face was screwed up in anger, and his hands were balled into fists. He strode across the parking lot like he had hellhounds nipping at his heels.
He was so beautiful I wanted to cry.
But he was mad as a kicked hornet’s nest. “What the fuck, Nine? What the actual fuck? You’re here and you were too chickenshit to come inside?”
I didn’t know what to say. Anything that came out of my mouth right now would probably be wrong. So I didn’t say anything.
“So now you’re not going to even say anything?” His words were punctuated by a thunderclap. “The great silent Isaac Winshed. Why would I have expected any different?”
I forced myself to speak. “You have Eli. I didn’t think—”
“I don’t want Eli, you asshole!” He came close enough to shove me with both hands, but he was clearly too worn-out to put much strength behind it. “I want you! I need you.”
Once he got that close, I could see he was crying. His face was puffy like this had been going on all day.
I stared at him stupidly, remembering the text where I specifically asked if he wanted me here. “But I asked you, and—”
His balled fists beat lightly against my chest as I felt the first fat drops of rain.
“I hate you,” he wailed. “I needed you, and you were just sitting out here like a fucking—”
I grabbed his shirtfront, yanking him toward me and gathering him up in my arms. I squeezed him as tightly as I could, muffling the rest of his words into the front of my shirt. “Shh, I’m sorry. I’m here. I’m sorry.”
He continued to fight me, shoving at me but also pulling me close. It was almost like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to beat me or wanted to be with me.
“I fucking hate you,” he said again, but his voice was angrier this time. “And I hate myself even more for needing you.”
The rain started pelting us for real now, and I reached for the door latch to get us inside the RV. As soon as we stumbled up the stairs and closed the door behind us, Cooper barreled into me, shoving me against the full-length cabinet on the opposite wall.
All three dogs whined and hopped around, trying to get our attention, but I barked out a command for them to sit.
Cooper grabbed my beard and yanked my head down until his lips were crushing mine. His teeth scraped my tongue, and his fingers scratched my face through my beard. It was like being mauled by a sexy wildcat, and I simply stood there and took it, afraid of upsetting him more by restraining him and trying to calm him down.
Suddenly his hands were everywhere. My shirt came off, my jeans sagged open, and I noticed low muttering coming out of his mouth.
“Fucking asshole sitting out here when I was in there, and did you even know I had to get stuck fifty thousand fucking times just for one blood draw? No. You wouldn’t have because you were out here like a goddamned head-in-the-sand idiot while I was in there having my fucking veins fed into a wood chipper. Well, you know what? I’m going to fucking tell you what, asshole. This stops now. You belong to me. You’re mine. You and me. This is happening whether you like it or not, and you don’t get to tell me, mmmpff!”
I grabbed his chin and kissed him hard, turning the tables on him and shoving him back across the RV until he was plastered against the back of the door. Now it was his turn to lose some articles of clothing, and when he was finally naked and gasping, I threw him over my shoulder and carried him to the bed, throwing him down on the comforter while I grabbed the lube and a condom.
If he wanted to take out his frustration in sex, I was all too willing. And maybe that didn’t reflect great on me, but I knew Cooper and this was clearly what he wanted. What he needed. He needed out of his head if just for a few minutes, and I knew exactly how to do that.