“Get on your hands and knees. Now,” I said.
“You’re not the fucking boss of me,” he snapped.
“I am right now. Do it.”
Even though he shot me a pissed-off look, he scrambled to do as I said. His pale ass flashed in the dim room.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” he griped into the pillow.
I grabbed an ass cheek and opened him up enough to swipe a slick thumb across his hole. “You’re mine. Remember? Your words.”
“I said you were mine, I didn’t say—oh my fucking fuck.”
I pressed my thumb inside him hard, and goose bumps raced along his skin.
“Isaac,” he said on a gasp. “Please.”
I prepped him as quickly as I could and then rolled on a condom, slicking it up before tossing the lube aside. “You want this?” My voice was gruff with need, but I had to be sure.
“Isaac.” It was a whimper this time. “Please.”
I leaned over his smaller body and pressed my cheek against his. “Tell me you want me inside you. Tell me you want me to fuck you hard. Tell me you—”
“Yes! Yes, okay? Yes. Fuck me. Take me. I need you so badly. Please, dammit. I’m begging you. What more do you—unghh!”
I thrust inside of him in one hard shove before rocking back and pushing in again. His body was tight and hot, familiar in a way that made my throat close up. Being back inside him was incredible, and I wanted to stay here always.
I knew he was just desperate for a break, too desperate to really know what he was saying, but I was willing to take it if it meant having him like this again.
As I angled in and out of him, I dropped kisses along his spine until I got to the nape of his neck. He was panting and clutching at the sheets.
“Just like that,” he breathed over and over. “Oh god, don’t stop.”
I grabbed his hands and stretched them up above his head as I continued to fuck him hard and fast. “You feel so fucking good. Gonna make me come.”
“Nine!” His shout pierced the room as his entire body locked up. I reached down to stroke him only to find his dick and the sheets below already covered in his release. The thought of him coming without a touch was what pushed me over the edge.
I lost my rhythm and simply held on as my orgasm took over and my mind shattered into jagged pieces. Even after I was finished coming, I stayed like that, pressed inside of him and lying flat along his back. I nuzzled my nose into his hair and kissed the side of his face.
The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but they wouldn’t come out. “I…” I love you. “I…”
Cooper’s hand came back and sank into my hair, holding my face next to his. “Just hold me for a while. Okay?”
I nodded and tried swallowing back my fear. He deserved to know how incredibly cherished he was, but I was afraid. I was downright terrified he hadn’t meant what he’d said earlier, and that this was all the result of his feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. If I confessed my feelings to him and he didn’t feel the same way… I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get over it.
Besides, he needed me to be his rock right now, steady and sure. It was what I was good at. He didn’t need me to be a needy pile of emotional insecurity.
“Stay right here while I clean us up,” I murmured, pulling away from him and heading to the small bathroom. When I returned with a rag, he was already asleep. After cleaning us both up and texting Eli that we were napping in the RV, I moved into the bed beside him and pulled him into my arms.
I wasn’t sure what any of this meant, but as long as I could hold on to him for a little while, it was enough.
32
Cooper
The next several days were a blur. If Nine hadn’t been there to hold my hand through it all, I wasn’t sure I would have made it through without turning into an absolute crybaby. There were needles and blood draws, IVs and beeping hospital equipment that all combined to put my teeth on edge.
“Thank you for staying,” I said for the millionth time. Nine looked up at me from his laptop. He was kicked back in the big visitor chair in my hospital room with his ankles crossed on the end of my bed. The bone marrow harvest had gone smoothly, but the doctor had admitted me overnight because of a bad reaction to one of the pain meds.
“Stop saying that. Of course I stayed.” He went back to his work.
Clearly he didn’t need me interrupting him, but I was bored. “What are you editing now?”