“Nah, I’m still heading out. Just taking a later flight today. The limo’s waiting downstairs.” He placed the flowers on the table and walked up to cup my face in his hands. “You happy to see me? What the hell’s that on your wrist?”
I quickly put my arm with the wrist brace on it behind my back. “Carpal tunnel,” I lied. My jaw felt like it was going to cramp. “If you didn’t fly out last night, why didn’t you stay here? Where were you?”
His eyes darkened and the hold of his hands firmed just a bit on my face. “I had things to do,” he responded evasively.
Years ago, I wouldn’t have seen the deception in his eyes. I’d been too desperate to believe everything he’d told me. But now… now I was just done. I had no clue what possessed me to do it, but I said, “Were you with Sienna last night?”
Sienna, as in his pretend girlfriend— his beard. The woman he took to work functions and paraded around on his arm to fool the Neanderthals he worked with.
He dropped his hands, but didn’t step back. “Why do you always do this?” he sighed, shaking his head.
I ignored the question and pressed on. I wanted the fucking truth from him just once. “Why didn’t you come back here?” I asked, getting ballsy and stupid. “Or at least go to your place?”
Billy’s eyes narrowed and I saw his hands ball up into fists. I pulled in a breath and tried to keep my breathing steady.
“Maybe because I wanted to be with someone who doesn’t give me such a hard fucking time whenever I’m with them. Who just makes me feel good without trying to stake a claim on me and add to the fucking pressure I’m under,” he bit out.
“I know you’ve been sleeping with her, Billy,” I said quietly. I didn’t like the wounded sound to my voice, but I couldn’t help it. I’d known in my head that the relationship we’d once had had ended a long time ago, but for some reason my heart was slow to catch up.
“Are you really trying to pick a damned fight with me right now? After I stayed here to come see you? After I fucking brought you flowers? Are you crazy? Why do you always do this? It’s like you don’t even want to be happy. I came here to spend time with my boyfriend, and all you want to do anymore is call me out for petty shit.”
“I don’t think sleeping with someone else is petty.” I didn’t bother mentioning the fact that I suspected Sienna was only the most recent in a long line of infidelities. “But you know what? It doesn’t matter. It sounds like you’re ready to move on anyway, which is fine. Maybe if she makes you happy, that’s who you should be with. It’s okay, Billy. I agree, you’re under a ton of pressure, and I think if I go, it will ease some of that pressure for you,” I said, hating that even now I couldn’t let loose my full anger on him and say what I really wanted. That I thought he was a fucking asshole for cheating on me over and over again. No, I had to play it safe and make even this about him.
He stared at me and then burst out laughing. “Is that right? Is this a joke?”
“No. I wouldn’t joke about something like this,” I assured him. “I mean it.”
“You’re trying to break up with me by telling me I’m better off without you? As if I didn’t already know that?” He laughed some more. “Do you have any idea how much easier my life would be without you in it, Ashton?” he snarled as he moved around the living room. He began smacking one of his fists against the furniture as he went.
I didn’t answer him because I was trying to get control of my own fear so I could finish this once and for all.
Billy continued his ranting.
“As if I’d need your permission or blessing to leave you. That’s rich.” A sudden calmness settled over him and then he was striding toward me. I automatically dropped my eyes. Enraged Billy was something I could handle. This Billy I couldn’t. This Billy only made the rarest of appearances…
Why the hell hadn’t I just kept my mouth shut and stuck to the plan?
“Look at me, Ashton,” Billy said in a deep, threatening tone.
I did and met icy green eyes.
“What exactly do you want?” he asked, though from the tone in his voice, I knew he already knew my answer and was just testing me to see if I’d actually go through with it.
It was on the tip of my tongue to placate him— to tell him what he wanted to hear. To tell him the familiar lie that I was tired and that I was sorry for trying to pick a fight with him. That I’d been struggling with the thought of him being gone for a whole month and that had made me angry with him because I would miss him so damn much.