Fools (Licking Thicket 3)

All four hundred fifty pounds of her.

“I don’t want you, but I need you… Sing it, Bernadette!” he yelled, and I swear to God that sow let out the world’s most musical piggy grunt. Her pitch was certainly better than Dunn’s. “That’s it! You got it, baby!”

I couldn’t honestly tell you which made my stomach flip harder, those shiny abs or the wide grin he bestowed on his pig—total lie, it was the abs—but like always with Dunn Johnson, I found myself grinning like a fool in return…

Which was exactly what I was doing when his eyes found mine.

“Holy shit! Tucker!” he cried, tossing down his probably-very-expensive drill and running at me like I’d been away fighting a foreign war, not across town avoiding him. He caught me up in those big, strong, sweaty arms, pulled me against that dirty, sweaty chest, and spun me around in a circle, so my head was filled with the mingled scents of pine and Dunn.

Holy shit.

“Thank goodness you’re back! Come see Bernie!” He half carried me to Bernadette’s pen. “Or did you wanna go up to the cabin and catch some big bass? Oh, speaking of! Lemme show you the new swimbait I got. It’s in the garage.” He started heading in that direction but stopped himself. “But the rod I ordered’s not here yet. Oh, wait, are you hungry? Did you want some pizza? Or to watch a movie?” He headed toward the side door and the house but stopped again, like he wanted to do all the things and couldn’t figure out which one to do first.

He was like a puppy. A really skilled, talented, loving, excitable, hot-as-hades puppy.

“Dunn, I’m not here for any of those things. I came here to… to… tell you again that you need to back off.” I reached over the pen gate and scritched Bernadette’s head, just behind her ears. Her bristles tickled. “Didn’t I, sweet girl? ’Cause your Daddy needs to slow his roll and listen to me when I talk, yes he does.”

Bernie grunted her agreement.

“Wait, what? You came all the way out here to see me, to tell me you can’t see me?”

“I asked you to leave me be, didn’t I?”

“You did,” he agreed. “And I did, even though it’s been nearly two weeks!”

“It’s been less than one,” I corrected. I glared at him over my shoulder, which was a mistake because he was standing in the sunlight again looking like some kind of glowy, woodchip porn star, and I had to swallow hard and try to remember why I was there. “And it’s not leaving me be when you get Carole Phipps or Amos Nutter or Lurleen to do your dirty work for you. When I said no more dates, I didn’t mean I wanted you to delegate, for heaven’s sake, let alone set up a contest with prizes. I came to tell you that you need to call off your dogs.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Dunn sounded genuinely bewildered. “Amos Nutter? And Lurleen? You mean Lurleen Jackson, my mama’s…? Oh. Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Well.” Dunn frowned and rubbed his chest, like it was painful being that sexy. “I maybe mentioned to my mom that I hadn’t had any luck setting you up, and she told me it was because my choices of men were… not… you know…”

“Good?” I supplied.

“I was gonna say ideal. Anyway. She said to leave it to her.” He shrugged. “So I did.”

I blinked. “What do you mean ‘so I did’? She said she wanted to set me up and you said, ‘Sure, Mama, sounds great! Find Tuck a man’? Without asking any questions about how she was going to do it?”

His guilty face suggested this was exactly what had happened.

“How could you, Dunn Johnson? It was bad enough when you were the only one setting me up. I do not need Lurleen Jackson asking about my kinks in the coffee line so she can win free sandwich wraps for a year!”

Luisa’s voice rang out from somewhere behind me. “I’m waiting for Thicket Piercing and Ink to throw in a discount before I hook you up with my uncle Pete, Tuck. I promise you he’s worth the wait. I once saw the guy swallow a banana whole by accident.”

I turned and gaped at her. “Inappropriate! Also, you’re overdue for your tetanus booster, so I’d better see you in my office before your next shift. You promised me. Also, Dunn could get in trouble if you get hurt on the farm.”

She rolled her eyes at me but reluctantly agreed. “Yes, Dad,” she grumbled before driving off in the utility vehicle.

Dunn snorted.

“Don’t encourage her,” I snapped.

“Be kinda funny if you were really her dad.”

“Be kinda scary, you mean,” I muttered. “I’m fine just being her group leader at Rainbow, and don’t change the subject. The setups. The whole town’s in on it now.”