Fools (Licking Thicket 3)

Which was ridiculous, obviously…

And here I was, making this about me and my feelings, when it should have been about Dunn. About giving him the unconditional love and support he deserved.

“Hush now.” I led him to the sofa and rubbed my hand up and down his warm back as he dragged in big, calming lungfuls of air. “I’ve got you, D. I’ve got you, baby. Hush now.” As we sat, he laid his head on my chest and grasped the waist of my shirt in two tight fists, like he thought I might try to escape. As if I wasn’t exactly where I’d always wanted to be.

“I don’t think you realize how important you are to me, Tuck,” Dunn whispered into my sweater. “Like, if I didn’t have you… I don’t know what I’d do. You make everything about me make sense. You make me feel strong.” He slid his cheek against my chest, and I clasped him tighter. “The idea of not having you in my life scares me to death.”

Good Lord, the man was sweetness personified.

I ran a hand over his silky hair. “That won’t happen,” I whispered into his ear. My breath raised gooseflesh on the sensitive skin of his neck, and his grip on me tightened. “You know I love you, Dunn. You’re my best best friend. You’ll always have me, no matter what. Talk to me. What’s going on in that head?”

I was close enough to count the freckles on his jawline—precisely four—and see the little flecks of golden stubble glint in the firelight. Close enough to smell his cologne and the faint tang of woodsmoke that clung to him. Close enough to feel the soft nap of his sweater beneath my fingertips and the play of his muscles under that. It was painfully thrilling being this close, and my heart was so full of tenderness for him, it was liable to beat out of my chest.

There was nothing I wouldn’t do for this man.

“I’m so messed up right now,” he whispered. “Am I gay? Or bi? That seems to be a thing a guy should know before he gets to be twenty-eight, you know? A-and why is it that I can look at a guy like Carter and think he’s attractive, but not wanna get with him at all, but then want to drag you out of your chair and kiss the shit out of you right in the middle of the damn Steak ’n Bait?”

My breathing hitched.

Seriously, this jealousy thing should not be hot.

Dunn shook his head against me. “And then… shit. What if… what if I’m not good at it?”

I blinked, wondering if I’d missed something. “At what?”

“Bein’, you know, gay.” He swallowed hard. “You know how you can’t tie your own clinch knot on your fishing line to save your soul, no matter how hard you try? What if… what if I’m like that, but with gay sex? What if I told you all the stuff that’s going through my brain and you were freaked-out? Or, God, what if I told you something and it hurt your feelings?” He lifted his head so he could look at me, and his eyes were troubled. “Seriously, Tuck, what then? Because if I ever fucked this up with you…”

I cradled his jaw in both hands. “Dunn, you can’t. You and me… we’re un-fuckup-able.”

“You promise?” He quirked one eyebrow.

“I swear.” I marked a cross over my heart with my fingertip. “You can tell me anything. All your fears and doubts and… anything. Really.”

And I would not judge, I vowed to myself. I would not make this about me. Even if he wanted to talk about women. Even if he wanted to talk about—gah—Jenn.

My job was to be his best friend. To be reassuring and accepting.

“Okay, well.” Dunn scrubbed his hands through his hair. “The thing that’s been on my mind the most…” He bit his lip.

“Go on.” I tried to project safety and calm.

“…is that I got hard earlier tonight, thinking about that mouth of yours,” he confessed in a whispered rush.

My jaw dropped and wheezed out a cough. That… was not where I’d seen this going.

Okay, rewind. Just because he was thinking of these things didn’t mean he actually wanted to do them. It could be like that time he’d been thinking of free-climbing the giant water tower on the Lurch side of town, but we’d gone fishing and the urge had passed.

A supportive friend would not make assumptions.

“M-my mouth,” I stammered, trying and abjectly failing to sound casual. “M’kay. Like, um… thinking about us kissing, you mean?” I stopped just short of asking, “And how did that make you feel?” like I was his therapist or something.

“Not exactly that. Kissing too, though, because that kiss was the most intense sexual thing I’ve ever experienced. But, um, I was thinking more like…” He paused to wet his lips. “Your mouth on my dick.”