Steal My Breath (Elixir 1)

He’s silent for a beat before he says, “You’re okay?” He’s so gruff with me that annoyance creeps up my spine.

“Yes, I’m fine. What’s up?” I go for casual, hoping he’ll calm down.

“Nothing’s up,” he snaps. “Except for the fact I’ve just spent the last few hours wondering if you were okay. I would have appreciated a phone call.”

“I’m sorry, Luke, I didn’t know you’d called. I don’t like the tone you’re taking. Do you think you could untwist your balls for long enough to give me a chance to explain?”

He doesn’t say anything, but I hear the long breath he blows out. “Sorry.” He pauses. When he speaks again, his voice has softened a fraction. Only a fraction. “I’ve been going out of my mind worrying that you’d had a car accident on the way home. I was just about to come over to your place to see if you were there.”

“I’m here, and I’m okay, so you can stop worrying now. I’m sorry you were so concerned.”

He calms right down then. “Fuck, you shouldn’t be apologising. I’m the one who lost it… Can I come over a little later tonight?”

“Yes,” I agree before we end the call.

There’s a nervous knot in my tummy. I’m going to ask him again about his divorce, because I’ve been turning it over and over in my mind today, and I’m convinced he’s keeping something from me.

* * *

By the time Luke arrives just after ten, the nervous knot in my stomach has intensified.

He steps through my front door, and I’m so worked up that I hardly even take in how amazing he looks tonight. All I can focus on is getting my feelings off my chest.

“Do you want a drink? I just made a tea,” I say. My voice is way off, and it comes out weird.

He frowns. “Are you upset with me? I’m sorry I was such a bastard to you earlier.”

My heart speeds up. God, I hate this kind of thing. But I need to tell him what I’m feeling. “I’m not upset with you over that. There’s something else we need to discuss, though.”

He nods. “Okay.”

I take a deep breath. “Yesterday when I asked you about your divorce, you went funny on me. I just want to know what that was about. I’m not nagging, I promise. I’m just confused and—”

He presses his finger gently to my lips. “Shhh… I’ll explain.” He might be saying that he’ll explain, but the expression on his face makes it clear this is the last thing he wants to do.

“Oh, God, Luke… What?”

He takes hold of my hands. “Let’s sit down and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

Now that I know there’s something, I’m not sure I actually want to know. I think it would have been better staying in my cocoon of oblivion.

He leads me to the couch and settles me before sitting next to me. Raking his fingers through his hair, he says, “The divorce has been stalled because the police got involved. They think Jolene committed another murder before she killed her mother, and they asked me to get some information from her. I’ve spent the last month getting this information for them.” He stops talking for a beat. The way he’s now watching me as if he’s unsure how I’ll take all this makes me feel like an important piece of the puzzle is about to be revealed. “In order to do that, I’ve had to spend time at the prison with Jolene, letting her believe I wanted to put our marriage back together.”

My mind runs in a million different directions. But first and foremost, all I can think is how hard the past month must have been for Luke. I reach for his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Lines etch his forehead as he frowns. “Why are you sorry?”

“Because after everything you’ve had to go through over the last two years, you now have to do this. I can’t even imagine what it takes to go into that prison and do what you’re doing. I’m not sure I would have said yes to the police if it were me. Not after all the hell she’s already put you through.”

“I’m not the awesome person you might think. I had no choice but to say yes.”

“Why?”

“When I was seventeen I got mixed up with this crowd who committed robberies. I didn’t have anything to do with their crime sprees. I just drank with them and hung out with them. One of the guys, Dermot, was a friend of mine from school, that’s how I met them. I eventually moved on and found new friends, but I always kept in touch with Dermot. I tried to help him see that crime wasn’t a great life choice. A year ago, I realised how deep he was involved—he’d found a new gang to run with, and they carried out armed robberies that sometimes involved people getting shot. Nothing I said seemed to get through to him. One day, I’d just picked up some dry cleaning for Paris and was walking back to my car when I saw him in a car down the road. I tried to talk to him that day while he was sitting in the car. Later I found out he’d been waiting for his crew who were in a nearby bank robbing them. I’d fucking approached the driver of the getaway car, and I’d put my prints on it when I leaned against the door. The police threatened to bring me into their ongoing investigation over that robbery if I didn’t help them with their murder case.” His words are bitter, and I don’t blame him.

“Did they really think they could pin anything on you?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. The detective I’ve been dealing with is an asshole, and he’s made it clear he won’t hesitate to drag me through the process of having to clear my name if I don’t help him. He wants to be the one who cracks this murder case, and he’s hell bent on proving its Jolene. I looked at my options and decided to help him rather than put Sean through any more upheaval. Plus, I was trying to avoid more lawyer bills. The last lot wiped me out, and I’m just beginning to turn that around.”