* * *
Ivy turning back up in my life was fucking with my head. Fifteen years without her by my side, yet it felt like only yesterday I sat back with a wh
ore’s mouth wrapped around my dick while killing the love Ivy had for me. But the love I had for her had never died, and that was proving to be a mindfuck I didn’t have the time for. Not when I had club business to take care of.
Splashing water over my face in the clubhouse kitchen, I attempted to shake off the exhaustion that came from no sleep and trying like fuck to put regrets from years ago out of my head. They swam there, circling like hungry sharks desperate to feed on me, determined to dominate my attention.
Regret would choke the breath from me if I gave it space in my life, so I made a point not to. I didn’t dwell on shit, and I sure as hell didn’t spend time thinking about the bad decisions I’d made. But as much as I’d tried over the years, the regrets I carried over Ivy refused to ease up. I’d made promises to her and then I’d poured gasoline over them and lit the match myself.
The mindfuck of it all was that as much as I regretted how it went down, I still believed it was for the best. I was certain that if we’d continued on the path we were on, we would have destroyed each other. Our love may have been pure, but it was as fucked up and dysfunctional as it came.
I scrubbed a hand over my face and took a good look in the mirror. Thirty-nine years of hard living had etched itself into my skin, as had the exhaustion that staked its territory in my life. I was fucking tired of the battles I was fighting. That Storm was fighting. Shit had to get better soon; otherwise, what the hell was the point of it all?
Movement to my right caught my eye, and I turned to find Skylar entering the kitchen.
“You look like shit,” she said, her voice groggy from what I guessed to be too little sleep. Moving to the fridge, she grabbed out the milk before reaching for a mug and the coffee. “You want a coffee?”
I rested against the counter. “You gonna slip some poison in it?” She’d spent last night pissed at me, so I found it surprising we were even having this conversation. Skylar could hold a grudge for longer than anyone else I knew.
Her eyes met mine. “Now why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because deep down in that cranky soul of yours you do actually love me.”
“Mmm, let’s not get too crazy here, big brother. Love is a strong word.”
I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at her. “Okay, what are you fishing for this morning?”
“What? I can’t offer to make my brother a coffee without having a reason?”
“You refused to even look at me last night you were that pissed off. And now you’re coming to me with a sense of fucking humour and an offer for coffee first thing in the morning before you’ve even fully woken up. I’m not buying it, Skye. What’s going on? What do you want?”
Her shoulders sagged a little. “Fine,” she muttered. “It’s not so much what I want, but what I need. I’ve got a tutorial on today that I really have to attend, and I’m figuring you’re going to try to block me from going.”
Fuck.
I scrubbed my face. “I don’t want you leaving the clubhouse. Can you get the notes from someone?”
She shook her head. “No, this isn’t about the notes. It’s about being involved in the discussion that’ll be going on today. I really need to be a part of it.” She hit me with the look that told me to expect a guilt trip to fall from her mouth next. “Besides, you’re paying for this course so I’d expect you to want me to be there for something this important. I mean, I know you don’t want me to fail.”
Jesus, she knew how to push my buttons. She always had. “I’ll find someone to take you.” At the smile that snaked across her face, I added, “Two things, though. One, if I’m going to put you at risk like this, I hope like hell your grades are good at the end of the semester or we’ll be having words. And two, this coffee you’re about to make me better be the best fucking coffee you’ve ever made me.” It was going to be a long fucking day while I worried about her safety.
Her smile morphed into a grin that screamed triumph. “Two things, King. One, when have you ever known me to make a shit cup of coffee? And two, my grades will make you fucking weep they are that good.”
Without waiting for my response, she turned away to make coffee. I watched her in silence, remembering the day she’d agreed to go to university. She’d fought me on it for a long time, but I’d refused to back down. Skylar was smart, and I wanted her to have the best life she could, so it was a no-brainer for me that I pushed her to study. The day that Silver Hell cunt beat her up, I stepped in and forced her to get her shit together. Between partying almost every night and drinking far too fucking much, she was slowly pissing her life away. The beating seemed to knock some sense into her, and it had made my fucking year when she’d finally said yes to uni.
Annika wandered through the kitchen doorway, tiredness etched into her face, a yawn escaping her mouth. She rubbed her eyes and mumbled, “I need some of that coffee, Skye.”
“Mummy!”
Rebecca screamed into the room so fast she ran smack into a cupboard before bursting into tears. I pulled her into my arms before her mother could and held her tightly while she buried her head into my neck, crying. Smoothing her hair, I attempted to distract her. “Did you read any of that book I gave you?”
Annika’s eyes met mine and she mouthed, “Thanks,” as she waited for Skylar to make her coffee.
Rebecca sobbed for another minute before lifting her head and slowly nodding. “I read some with Mummy last night.”
“Is it a good book?”
She kept nodding. “Yes.” Her face crumpled and more tears streamed down her face. “My arm really hurts, Uncle Zac. I think I broke it.” Her body shuddered, indicating a flare in her anxiety. Rebecca was an anxious kid at the best of times, but in moments of stress, her levels could rise fast.