“I know, I know, I get it, but I don’t have to like it. I’m going to miss you,” my best friend Jamie whines.
“I know, but it’s not like it’s thousands of miles away. It’s a five-hour drive from here. You can come spend the week—hell, even the weekend—whenever you want,” I remind her.
“It’s not the same.”
She’s right. It’s not the same, but then again, neither am I. Losing Mom changed me. I’m more reserved; I want more out of life than going to clubs on the weekends. She wanted more for me than that. Her letter said so. The week following her funeral, I got a call from her attorney asking to meet with me. I was still in a daze, fighting my way to the surface, learning to live in a world without my mother.
When I arrived at her office, I was surprised to find out that Mom had a substantial life insurance policy, one that more than covered her funeral expenses as well as the house and my college tuition. I was even more surprised when her lawyer handed me a letter. As soon as I saw her neat, intricate handwriting across the envelope, the tears began to fall.
I’ve read that letter thousands of times. I have her words memorized. Specifically, “Don’t run from love, chase it.” She was worried that I would let my father and his coward’s way out keep me from falling in love. I will admit that I’ve never been one to settle down, and that was part of the reason. I’m really not a fan of handing over my heart on a silver platter to have the love of my life slip away in the middle of the night, to never be heard from again.
However, something else in her letter made me reconsider that theory. “If it were not for him, I would not have you. You, my darling daughter, are my greatest accomplishment in life.” Those two lines are ones that replay over and over again.
“Mom wanted to make sure that I kept in contact with them. She and Aunt Jenny were close. I think this will be good for me. Moving, starting over.”
“New friends,” Jamie says, her voice soft.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to replace you. We’ve been thick as thieves since kindergarten. That’s not going to change because I’m living in another state.”
“I know.” She releases a heavy sigh. “Things are just not going to be the same without you.”
“There is so much technology these days for keeping in touch, it will be fine. I have to do this, Jamie.”
“I know you do. I get it, I’m just selfish and already miss the hell out of you.”
I laugh. She’s not usually this dramatic, but this is a big change for both of us. I don’t know what I would have done without her since losing Mom. She’s been there every step of the way.
“So what’s left to do?”
“I have to be out by Friday. I’ve already donated everything that I’m not taking with me. Now I just have to pack the rest. I’m going to drop the keys off to the realtor on Friday on my way out of town.”
“I can’t believe it sold so fast.”
“I know.” After I finally gave in to Aunt Jenny and Olivia begging me to come stay with them, I thought for sure I had a few months at least. I didn’t expect to be closing forty-five days later.
“So what can I do to help?”
“Nothing, I’m good. Just need to pack up my toiletries and last few pieces of clothing Friday morning before I leave.”
“Right, well then, you and I need to have a girls’ night. In two days you are leaving and they will be few and far between.”
“Count me in.”
We spend the rest of the night watching sappy romance movies and eating lots of junk food. I’m going to miss her like crazy, but I need to do this. I know I can always come back if things don’t work out.
I rushed through taking care of the horses this morning so I could get over to Evan and McKinley’s. I promised Lexi that I would come and have breakfast with her. That little girl has me wrapped around her little finger. On the phone last night, she reminded me that her little brother had the same name as me, well his middle name is Aaron, but to Lex that’s enough. I could tell from the sound of her voice, she was awed we would have the same name. Her little three-year-old self didn’t realize she wasn’t the only one. When Evan told me that their son would have my name, I will admit, I got choked up. I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass, there were tears. I’m man enough to admit that.
Pulling into the driveway, I grab the baby doll I picked up at Walmart last night. Them being open twenty-four hours helps with needing to get your niece a quick gift. I figured there would be a lot of attention on Walker in the coming days, and I want her to know that she’s still my girl. I don’t bother knocking; instead I walk on in, knowing that if I don’t, my sister and her husband will both give me shit. I’m not sure if that is the positive or negative of your little sister marrying your best friend.
“Unca Awon!” Lexi cheers when she sees me.
I stoop down, dropping the bag at my feet, and catch her as she launches herself into my arms.
“You came.”
“Of course I did, Lexi girl, where else would I be?” Her little hands frame my face as she places a wet smacking kiss against my lips. Pulling back, she’s grinning from ear to ear.
“Daddy make pancakes,” she tells me.
“I love pancakes. Are Daddy’s as good as mine?” When she spends the night with me, we always make pancakes the next morning. Mom and Dad get a kick out of watching me let this little beauty boss me around in the kitchen. I really need to start thinking about my own place. I just wanted to find her first: the one person who I can’t see living my life without.
Lexi bobs her head up and down. “Yes, my mommy still does the bestest.”
“Well, I need to try them out to see for myself.” I tap the end of her nose, grab the bag, and carry them both into the kitchen.
“Hey, man,” Evan says from the stove. He’s wearing a grin that has been permanent since the day he and my sister made this marriage official. Things started out as a cover for him to keep Lexi from his ex’s parents. Turns out they both were in love with each other and now they get to live happily ever after.
“McKinley sleeping?” I ask.
“Nah, she just went up to change Walker. She’ll be down in a second.”