I step toward him and, just as I’m about past him, his arms snake out and pull me close. The door slams shut, but it doesn’t faze him as he holds me tight.
Lexi babbles “Dada” from the living room, causing him to release me. “She’s going to be excited to see you,” he says, lacing his fingers through mine and guiding me into the living room.
“Can I hold her?” I ask as tears fill my eyes. It’s only been a day. Not even a full twenty-four hours and I miss them both so much.
“You never have to ask that question.”
I rush to her pack-n-play and lift her out. I breathe in her baby smell and more tears start to fall. She watches me as if she knows I’m upset. “I missed you, Lex.”
Evan turns on cartoons and her eyes are suddenly glued to the television. He reaches for her, sets her in her exer-saucer, and looks up at me. “I’m not going to be one of those guys, the kind who place their kid in front of the TV or video game, but right now, I need to. I have some things to say and I need to know I have your attention while Shrek has hers.”
I nod.
Reaching out for my hand, he guides me to the couch, I sit and he kneels in front of me. “I’m sorry. When you told me you were leaving yesterday, I panicked. I didn’t make myself clear.”
“Evan—”
“Please, let me say this.” He reaches for my other hand and smiles. “You’re still wearing your ring.”
“I just . . . forgot it was there really. I need to give it back, I know—”
“Shhh.” He places his finger to my lips. “I told you I needed you, and that was the truth. However, a wise man brought it to my attention that I didn’t tell you why. I let you leave here without knowing why and, for that, I’m truly sorry.”
He brings my left hand to his lips and kisses my wedding rings. Then those chocolate brown eyes hold me hostage. “I need you, McKinley Rae Chamberlin, because I can’t breathe when you’re not here. I can’t sleep in our bed because the sheets smell like you. I can’t tuck our daughter into her bed at night because you’re not there to do it with me.”
I can’t fight the tears.
“My heart needs you, baby. I love you. With all that I am, I love you, and I not only need you, but I want you. More than anything, I want you.”
“Evan,” I say with a sob.
He reaches behind him and grabs a book. “Take it,” he urges.
I take the book from him and he wipes my tears with his thumbs. I open the book and it’s a picture of me holding Lexi at the hospital. Turning the page I see pictures of me and Lexi sleeping on his couch, the very one I’m sitting on. The next several pages are the same thing—pictures that I’ve never seen. Pictures of me and Lex and even some selfies of the three of us over the past six months. When I reach the end, it’s the pictures from our day at the meadow. The three of us are smiling and happy. Underneath the picture, it says, We love you. Tears roll down my face as I try to understand what’s happening.
I look up at Evan and he also has tears in his eyes. “Keep going,” he urges me.
I flip the page and there is a picture from our wedding, the three of us. Below this one it simply says, I do. I trace my finger over the picture.
“Keep going,” he says softly.
I turn the page and it’s a picture of Lexi wearing a onesie that says, I love my mommy.
I’m crying so hard I can hardly see the pages. Evan hands me a tissue and I wipe my eyes. I smile at him and he offers me a watery smile in return. The next page is blank except for the words, Open Evan’s envelope.
Looking up, I see he’s holding it out for me. I set the book aside and take it from him. It’s not sealed, so I slip the paperwork out and unfold it. It’s a legal document. At first, I think it’s our annulment papers, but then I keep reading. My hands are shaking as I read the words. I have to read the first paragraph four times before I look up at him.
“What does this mean??
??
His hands cradle my cheeks. “What this means is Lexi wants you to be her momma. I want you to be my wife, not just because we had some arrangement, but because I love you with all that I am. I love you. In your hand are adoption papers. All you have to do is sign, and Mr. Fields will file the petition with the court.”
“Evan, I—”
“I love you, McKinley. Lexington loves you. I want our family back. I want you here, home where you belong. I want to raise our daughter together. I want more babies with you. I want every minute of your forever to be linked with mine.”
He loves me.