ere’s someone else. I’m not seeing anyone, thinking about anyone, or kissing anyone but you.” Reaching over, I tap the end of her nose. “It’s you, Jamie. Until we figure out what this is or where it could go, there will be no one else for me. Hell, I couldn’t even if I tried. You’re under my skin, darlin.’”
“Deal. So, are we going to hike this mountain or what?”
I throw my head back in laughter. “It’s not exactly a mountain. Miller’s Peak is more like a really big hill that rewards you with an incredible view once you reach the top.”
“Let’s do this.”
She reaches for the handle and jumps out of the truck. I follow after reaching into the back seat and grabbing my backpack.
“What’s all that?” she asks, pointing to the bag.
“I packed some waters and a few snacks. Beef jerky.” I grin. I plan on taking a break once we reach the top, wanting to watch her take in the beauty while I take her in. I offer her my hand and she accepts without hesitation, lacing her fingers through mine.
“Can you believe I’ve never been hiking?”
“City girl,” I tease, bumping my shoulder with hers.
“Sad but true. I’ve never had the desire. Everything has always been within walking distance: museums, concerts, sporting events, plays, parks—it’s all right at your fingertips. I never felt the need to venture out. It’s just recently that I realize what I’ve been missing.”
I give her hand a gentle squeeze. I like to think she’s referring to me, but I keep my mouth shut. No way am I going to risk ruining this mood, this day with her. Not going to happen.
“Let’s see. We’ve already hit on first kiss, so how about virginity. How old were you?” she asks.
“Sixteen. It was a fumbling two-minute disaster, but I assure you my skills have come a long way since then.”
“Same. Johnny Crow, junior prom, in the back if his mom’s Ford Taurus. Pretty much the same outcome, though I think it was a fumbling one-minute disaster. I too have since honed my skills.” Her voice is husky.
“I could have done without that tidbit of knowledge,” I growl.
This causes her to laugh. “Come on, you shared your improvements.”
She’s got me there, but I still don’t want to hear about it. Losing her virginity is one thing—the guy was most likely a first-timer like her, and I can live with that—but I don’t want to think about the others after him. The ones who helped her hone her skills. That has me wanting to punch every fucking one of the nameless, faceless bastards. “Not the same thing.”
“Sure it is. You think I like thinking about you with other women? Especially when I’ve yet to be added to that list?”
I stop walking, which causes her to jerk as I hold her hand tight in mine and pull her back to me. “Not the same thing. The others didn’t mean a fraction of what you do. I think about you all the time. The sound of your voice causes a suck-ass day to be better. Seeing your name on my phone screen with a new message tilts my world on its axis. No one has ever mattered as much as you do. I feel it here.” I place our hands over my chest. “It’s an ache I feel down to my toes. No one else has ever scared the living shit out of me for how deep I felt for them. I’ve never given a woman the power to break me. You have that power and I don’t even know what we are. What this is? I’ve yet to feel your warmth when I make love to you and I already have all these feelings coursing through me. Can you imagine how it’s going to be when I do? When I slide in deep and claim you as mine? That’s what’s going to happen, Jamie. You’ll be mine. I’ll fight to make that happen, but I refuse to take this to that level until I know we’re on the same page. We live in different worlds right now, and I don’t know how to fix that.”
“I don’t either but I want that. All of it.” Her voice is firm and I know she means what she says.
“We’ll take it one day at a time. We’ll get to know each other, even if it’s information that has me seeing red. We’ll enjoy our time together and see where that takes us.”
Rising on her tiptoes, she presses her lips to mine. “That’s an adventure I look forward to.”
I wrap my arms around her and hold her against me. I feel ripped open and raw from my confession, but I’m not one to hide behind the bullshit. I wasn’t expecting to drop all that on her today, but damn if I didn’t need to tell her. I needed for her to understand what this is for me. She’s not just a weekend fling when she comes into town. It’s her, only her, until we can figure out where this attraction and all these feelings lead us.
My heart stutters in my chest from his confession. It’s as if he can read my mind. I want him, want us, but I just can’t see how we can make it work. I’m glad he has the control to stop us because I don’t. I know it’s the right thing, waiting, but my fear is that the moment will never come. Never having a chance to know what it’s like to be with him, to be his.
“You ready?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah.” I reach for his hand. We walk in silence for a few minutes when I decide it’s time to break the ice. “Since we’re already on the subject, how many have there been?”
“How many?” he asks, but I know he knows what I mean.
“Sexual partners,” I clarify.
He whistles. “Bringing out the big guns.”
“I figured we might as well get all the hard stuff out of the way now.”