Perfect Imperfections

They had been on the road for well over five months, spending almost every moment together. They talked about their childhoods, shared their insecurities, ate together, laughed together, even slept together. Jeremy had never felt more connected to another human being in his life; it was as if Reg had burrowed under his skin. But if Reg asked that question, it meant Jeremy wasn’t expressing his feelings well.

Having no experience to draw from, no history of successful relationships to use as models, Jeremy reflected back on what he might have said or done to Reg and tried to figure out where he had gone wrong. Almost immediately, he realized that every bit of physical contact he shared with Reg was initiated by Reg, not him, and was aimed at making him feel pleasure, not Reg. Cringing at his own selfishness, Jeremy took in a deep breath, gathered his courage, and pounced.

Taking Reg off guard, he was able to roll the bigger man onto his back and lay on top of him. He slammed his mouth on Reg’s, initiating their first kiss. Well, he had aimed for Reg’s mouth. In the heat of the moment, he landed closer to his cheek. But that didn’t deter Jeremy. He clasped Reg’s shoulders and landed kiss after kiss until finally he felt their lips connect. He mashed his mouth against Reg, wanting to make his feelings clear.

“Hey,” Reg said softly. He leaned away and put his big hand on Jeremy’s chest, keeping him back. “What’s going on?”

Being turned down wasn’t what Jeremy had been expecting, so it stung. “Oh. I—” He gulped. “Sorry. I didn’t—” He tried to wiggle off Reg, but strong hands on his hips kept him in place.

“Where’re you going?”

Ducking his head, Jeremy said, “I thought you wanted me to stop.”

“No.” Reg took Jeremy’s chin in his hand and raised it. He looked Jeremy straight in the eyes. “I want to know if you think there’s a chance for something between us; something that isn’t pretend; something that’ll last much longer than this concert tour. I want to know if I can finally make love to you and show you that the sex is just as good as the cuddling afterward.” He paused, lowered his gaze, and then looked at Jeremy from underneath his lashes. “I want to know how you feel about me.”

“I’m not pretending,” Jeremy assured him. “I want you to touch me. I want to touch you. I want to—” He cleared his throat. “I want you to…. And I feel… I feel….” He felt overwhelmed with unfamiliar emotions and desires he didn’t recognize and couldn’t articulate. “I feel….”

“It’s okay,” Reg said, cupping both of Jeremy’s cheeks. “We can talk more later. I heard what I need to know for now.”

In one smooth motion, Reg rolled them over so Jeremy was under his huge, strong body. With his forearms resting on either side of Jeremy’s head and his fingers tangled in Jeremy’s hair, Reg wedged himself between Jeremy’s thighs.

“Have I ever told you how much I like your lips?” he asked with a soft smile.

Jeremy shook his head, his gaze locked on Reg’s kind face.

“Well, I do.” Reg rubbed his thumb over Jeremy’s lips. “I look at them all the time. When you’re singing, you part them. Not just when the words are coming out either. If you’re on stage, microphone in hand, your lips are almost always parted.” He dipped his face and slid his mouth over Jeremy’s in a barely there motion, gentler than the kisses Jeremy had initiated and yet infinitely more intimate.

“You squish them together really tight, all in the center when you’re angry and getting worked up for one of your tantrums.” Jeremy scowled in response to that comment. Reg threw his head back and laughed. Then he leaned down for another kiss, this time increasing the pressure slightly. “And when you’re really mad, like, about-to-throw-shit mad, you stretch them out until they’re super thin and almost white.”

Caressing Jeremy’s cheek, Reg looked into his eyes as he darted his tongue out and swiped it across Jeremy’s lips.

Jeremy found himself breathless.

“And when you’re happy and laughing, they tilt up so high on the sides that you get little lines here—” Reg kissed one side of Jeremy’s mouth. “—and here.” He kissed the other side. “But you want to know my favorite one?”

“What?” Jeremy rasped.

“When we’re alone and I’m touching you—massaging your feet or giving you a hug or holding you in my arms. You get this expression on your face.” Reg shuddered at the memory. “You look peaceful and content, and, to me at least, a little aroused, and your lips—” He swallowed hard. “They get really red and full, and I want more than anything to kiss you.”

With his heart racing, his breath coming out in short bursts, and his body tense and primed, Jeremy clutched Reg’s shoulders and stared up at him.