“Well, I don’t have it. That’s for sure.”
“There’s one more thing. She never abandoned you. I believe she had every intention to get you back from Stepan and Ilena, but she had an attack and was taken to a mental hospital before she could.”
My heart jumped right in my throat. I swallowed heavily and forced myself to speak.
“Paz, is she still alive? Is she… in a mental hospital in Bulgaria?”
“N-no.” He took the cap off his marker and drew a cross next to Katia’s name. “I’m sorry, my love.”
“Fuck.” Fuck fuck fuck. I stepped away. I needed to think. I needed to breathe. Another step, and another step… The next thing I knew, I was headed down the tunnel that led to the beach.
“Mila, wait!”
“Don’t go outside! Someone might see you,” Lorna yelled after me.
“I’m fine, guys. I just need a minute.”
Corri flew after me.
“Are you okay, Mistress?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth. Tears stung at the back of my eyes. “It’s not like I ever knew her.” I wiped my eyes even if no tear had fallen yet, tightened my jaw, and walked faster.
I needed to see the ocean.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Classes, tests, presentations, sleep, dream, wake up. Classes, tests, sleep, dream…
I started a dream journal, like Klaus had suggested. Honestly, it was kind of annoying, because the last thing I wanted to do when I woke up in the morning was to take half an hour of my time to write what usually proved to be pretty nonsensical in a notebook. But Corri encouraged me, and if she and Klaus believed it would help in the long run, then who was I to argue? They were only trying to help me, and I knew that it could only work if I helped myself first.
Classes, presentations, sleep, dream, wake up.
January slipped by, then February and March. Mrs. Charon still wasn’t allowed to teach us how to teleport, and Mrs. Maat was forbidden from organizing any field trips. Crassus was my exasperating shadow, and the Unseelie were everywhere, watching the students’ every move. I was so exhausted and bored of this charade that I was genuinely considering just barging into Morningstar’s office and asking him what his deal was. I and my Arcane Cabal, as Lorna had named our group of rebels, still hadn’t figured out what his end goal was. We were in the dark. Which meant that he was winning.
We each had our tasks. Lorna was teaching Klaus how to do serious magic, Patricia and Joel went to Salem Library each chance they got without raising suspicion, Paz researched schizophrenia (he was obsessed with the idea that it had something to do with everything), GC visited his mother, Andromeda, once a week to check in and see if she’d discovered anything new about Morningstar’s family, and I was dreaming. My main task was to dream dream dream. Oh, and Francis wasn’t doing much. Just holding it together for all of us. He was like the therapist of the group. Which was totally insane, because he was actually the crazy cultist who fed women to an ancient god. Patty and Joel were the ones digging into the matter, because Lorna had insisted we couldn’t simply ignore the tentacled monster in the well just because Morningstar was the direct threat. The Arcane Cabal had enough members to solve both problems in parallel.
Sleep, dream, sleep, dream. I had to be honest… I didn’t feel like I was making much progress. The dreams were much clearer now, I’d mastered becoming lucid the moment I entered them, and I could also stay inside longer. Corri was tasked with making sure nothing woke me up. Sleeping on my chest was out of the question now, and I didn’t care it was her favorite spot.
Sleep, dream, sleep…
* * *
The place was quiet. I was in the middle of the street; not a car in sight. A small, picturesque town in a green valley; mountains rising toward the sky all around. I dragged in a breath, and the fresh air filled my lungs. My actual lungs.
Eyes wide, I looked down at my hands, turned them over and over, touched my face, my hair… I could feel everything. But I knew it was only a dream, and I knew I was awake in it, while I was asleep in my own bed at the same time.
It’s finally happening… This was the next level. From now on, everything was going to be different. I didn’t know why or how, but there was this voice in my head that kept repeating that I was close, so close… That I’d never been closer before.
I moved from the middle of the street, and as I started walking down the sidewalk, my fingers touched the parked cars I passed by, the trees, the mailboxes. The houses here were small and quaint. Some pets playing out in their yards, and even a kid or two. A woman was kneeling in her garden, clearing the weeds. She looked up as I wend by and cocked an eyebrow. Oh my God, she can actually see me! I smiled, and she smiled back. My blue hair had gotten her attention.
This is more than a lucid dream, more than an OBE. I’m actually here. I. Am. Here. Has Morningstar ever experienced something like this? I had to keep it together. Was this the past? Was it the future? I just felt this strong pull toward the house at the end of the street.
It was bigger and wealthier than the rest. The fence was made of wood, and the gate was solid iron. To get a glimpse at the front yard, I had to climb the stone foundation upon which the fence was built. I couldn’t resist the temptation. It was as if there was something in this house – or someone – that was calling for me.
There wasn’t much to see, though. An alley leading to the front door, some random flowers here and there, and a huge bush of jasmine that spread an intoxicating scent in the air. I closed my eyes and inhaled. There was probably a larger garden in the back. I could guess it was one of those houses that looked like they were regular and boring from the street but had a lush garden and a swimming pool or a hot tub in the back.
“Can I help you, Miss?”