His expression softening, Jason stepped closer. “I have no idea what we’re talking about but I have to tell you, you look really great tonight.”
“We’re talking about….” Abe glanced down at his clothes and then looked at Jason in confusion. “I’m wearing my oldest jeans and a swim-a-thon T-shirt.”
“I know.” Jason wrapped his arm around Abe’s waist and tugged him close. “But you look really cute in it.” He rested his cheek on Abe’s head. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again all week.”
Abe told himself to get away from Jason’s hold, not to let a married man be that close to him, but then Jason caressed his cheek and smiled softly at him, and he couldn’t make his legs move. “Please don’t do this,” he whispered as he lowered his gaze in shame.
“Do what?” Jason asked.
“Touch me.”
“Why not?” When Abe didn’t respond, Jason held his chin between his thumb and his finger and raised his face until their gazes met. “Why don’t you want me to touch you? We had a great time together, didn’t we?”
They had. In fact, Abe hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Jason. About how safe he felt blanketed by his large body, about how his breath caught when he was gifted with a smile or a compliment, about how hard Jason had tried to talk to him and get to know him. Yes, he’d had a great time. Too great.
“Abe?” Jason said, his voice wavering and his eyebrows drawn together in concern. “Did I hurt you?” He skimmed his hand over Abe’s back down to his ass and gently rubbed. “I know I was a little rough, but I didn’t realize—”
“You didn’t hurt me,” Abe said. “But that isn’t the point.” He forced himself to wriggle out of Jason’s hold and put space between them. “I realize you said all along that this was just about sex and fun, and I thought I could do that, thought I could be that guy for one night and then another and then—” Abe sighed. “Well, you know. But if being that guy means cheating on someone’s wife, it isn’t for me. Period.” He rubbed his palms over his eyes. “It’s probably not for me anyway, but your wife, your daughter….” His throat burned and he shook his head. “I’m sick about what we did. You need to leave and never come back.”
“Aw, baby, come here.” Jason stepped toward him.
Jason hadn’t used an endearment with him outside of bed, and it made Abe’s chest ache with longing. But he managed to keep his feet rooted to the floor instead of falling into Jason’s arms.
“I’m divorced.” Jason twined his arm around Abe’s shoulder, clasped the back of his neck, and tugged him into a hug. “Angela’s the only wife I ever had, so I’m used to hearing her referred to that way. That’s why I didn’t correct you. It never dawned on me that you thought I was still married.”
“Divorced?” Abe looked up at him, searching his dark brown eyes.
Nodding, Jason said, “Five years ago.”
“But she was wearing a ring. I saw the ring.”
“She loves jewelry and she has tons of it, but she doesn’t get to wear much of it at work, so she tends to put it on afterward.”
“It wasn’t a wedding ring?”
“Not her wedding ring,” Jason said with certainty. “It might be one of her grandmother’s wedding rings, or it could be something she bought for herself.” He met Abe’s gaze. “I’m not married.”
It wasn’t until Jason covered Abe’s hand with his own that Abe realized he was clutching Jason’s shirt. “So you weren’t cheating on her?” Abe said, repeating the information to himself more than asking the question.
Jason flinched. “Not with you, no.”
There was background behind that answer, but Abe didn’t know if he was in a position to ask about it, so he let it go. Relieved that he could let himself enjoy the scent of Jason’s skin and strength of his body, he leaned forward, buried his face against Jason’s neck, and inhaled deeply.
“Are you smelling me?” Jason asked as he ran his fingers up Abe’s neck, through his hair, and massaged the back of his head.
“Sorry,” Abe mumbled. “That’s weird, huh?”
“Maybe.” Jason lowered his hands to Abe’s butt, grabbed both cheeks, and tugged Abe forward and up. “But it turns me on knowing you like how I smell.” He circled his hips, dragging his erection across Abe’s belly. “Makes me hard.”
With a moan, Abe hooked one leg around Jason’s thigh and started rocking forward, looking for friction. He needed to stop, not to encourage Jason further. Divorced was infinitely better than married, but there was still the matter of Abe’s inability to remain emotionally detached from Jason. Maybe if they had left it at one night, or even two, but now it was too late. He liked Jason and not only in bed. So much so that when he had mistakenly thought Jason was married, his feet had been knocked out from under him, and it had taken every ounce of strength he had to stay upright and not break down on the spot. Only the knowledge that he was at work and his student was in the room had kept Abe together.