It was quiet for a couple of minutes, and then Asher pulled Daniel’s bag a bit closer to him and snatched clothes out, slamming them down onto the piles. “Well, you’re here now, so that wherever, whenever business is no longer an issue. We’ll go shopping and get you more things.”
“I’m fine, Ash.” Daniel sighed. “I hate shopping and I don’t need more clothes.”
“I’ll buy them,” Asher grumbled. Daniel’s bag was empty and Asher folded it and placed it into his own suitcase, zipped it up, and shoved it under the bed.
The man seemed angry and Daniel wasn’t sure what he’d done to set him off. He laid his hand on Asher’s upper arm, right above his elbow. “Ash,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “I appreciate the offer, but it’s not about who pays. I like my clothes just fine and I don’t need more of them.”
Asher raked his black eyes over Daniel’s body, obviously cataloging his loose, worn jeans and washed-out sweatshirt. Eventually, Asher spoke. “Depending on what job you decide you want, you may need to, uh, dress up a little more.”
This wasn’t the first time Daniel had heard comments about his clothes. Plus, he wasn’t blind; he knew he wasn’t the snappiest dresser around. But he was thirty-three, not thirteen, and he intentionally chose clothes that made him comfortable, outside and in.
He sighed. “I seriously doubt any job I’d want would require me to dress up, but if the need arises, I’ll make sure to pick up something appropriate.”
Asher stared at him and seemed to weigh his words. After a couple of minutes, he sat down on the floor, scooted against the wall and reached for Daniel, pulling him onto his lap. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just….” Asher shrugged awkwardly. He seemed oddly uncomfortable finishing his sentence, let alone having a conversation. And it was clear Daniel’s show of emotion hadn’t been par for Asher’s course, either. Daniel once again wondered about Asher’s past relationships.
Well, only one way to find out. He took a deep breath. “Is it out of line for me to ask about your exes?” he asked.
“My exes?”
Daniel nodded. “Yeah, you know, past boyfriends, guys you’ve lived with. Exes.”
“Oh, uh.” Asher stumbled on his words, but Daniel kept his gaze glued on the other man, waiting for him to share some information about himself, something to help Daniel understand the person who had suddenly become such a big part of his life.
“I haven’t lived with anybody,” Asher said. “Other than roommates, I mean. Of course I had roommates when I was younger, but, uh, other than that I haven’t lived with anybody.”
“You just weren’t that serious about your ex-boyfriends? Or….” Daniel let his question trail off, waiting for Asher to finish it.
“I’m not sure I’ve been with someone who’s qualified as what you’d consider a boyfriend.”
“Really?” Daniel was surprised, which came through in his voice. “Why not?”
Asher furrowed his brow, and Daniel knew he was contemplating the question. “I guess I haven’t wanted that. I like things a certain way. I’ve always enjoyed my space. I have a really busy, high-stress job.”
Daniel listened to the string of excuses and felt his heart rate increase and his palms get clammy. He wasn’t so great with order, wasn’t so great with space, wasn’t a fan of busy jobs or stress. He already felt like he didn’t fit in Asher’s apartment, but now he wondered whether he fit with Asher at all.
“What am I doing here, Ash?” he asked quietly.
“I want you,” Asher replied immediately. Asher’s eyes held such warmth, and his expression was so tender, Daniel forced himself to push white carpets he was sure to stain and glass tables he was sure to break out of his mind. “I know it’s crazy and fast and impetuous, but”—Asher shrugged sheepishly, quite a feat for a muscle-bound, bald-headed, rough-faced man—“it feels right in my gut, and in my line of work, I’ve learned to trust my instincts.”
Fast and impetuous didn’t bother Daniel. That was how he lived his life. But his instincts didn’t have the same track record as Asher’s, and what his gut felt was fear that he’d get attached only to have Asher realize all the reasons he’d remained single up until then still applied. After all, why would four decades of history change after meeting him?
“Why me?” he asked, not one to hold back his feelings.
“Well,” Asher said, dragging the word out. He ran his fingers through Daniel’s hair, massaging his scalp. It felt so good Daniel wanted to purr. “There’s something about you, sugar. Something that makes me feel like we fit together. I can feel it right here.” He took Daniel’s hand and placed it on his firm belly. Daniel usually went for feelings that came a little higher; in fact, the ache in his chest told him he was already experiencing those feelings. “I’m new to this, so I hope it isn’t coming out all wrong, but I want you here with me. I know you’re trying to figure out what to do with your life right now, but I think you could be happy here with me.”