Carries eyes went wide. “Sounds like fun.”
It sounded like the seventh circle of hell to Blake, but he’d say that later. For now, he was on a mission to keep Carrie happy.
“I hope we see you there,” Eve said.
Carrie nodded and smiled. “I hope so, too.”
“You two enjoy your breakfast. It was so nice to meet you,” Eve said.
“You, too,” Carrie said, waving as the family of four trekked away. Her gaze shifted to his. “It’s okay, you know,” she said to him. “Domestic bliss isn’t contagious.”
How the hell does she see straight through me?
“I know.” He didn’t.
He saw in Carrie’s eyes that’s what she wanted. A family that took vacations together and a husband who wore a front pack full of baby. As if he needed a reminder that he would never be worthy of her, not if he couldn’t provide those things.
“What do you hate so much about the idea of a family?” she asked.
Damn, he should have been slyer with his nervousness. He had no choice but to answer her, though he’d keep it as simple as possible.
“A wife and kids and love are way too much responsibility,” he said.
Especially since he hadn’t been able to keep his own mother alive. She’d gotten cancer. With his father long gone for years, it had fallen on Blake to be the man of the house. To be the rock his mother could lean on. To keep her safe and keep her alive.
He’d tried to save her, but he’d failed. Tried to protect her, failed. Tried to help her, failed. Everything he’d given, his heart, his soul, his love, and she’d still died.
He vowed never to let that happen again. Loving his friends, like Lane and Carrie, was different than loving a woman and sharing a life together.
“Says the man who is responsible for people’s safety and weapons in the middle of nowhere,” Carrie said.
She had a point there. But that was different. Guiding was something he did because he was capable of keeping strangers safe within the rules and guidelines he set. He knew the country, knew how to operate a firearm. Knew how to get in and out. A few hours at a time, he could be responsible for a life.
Not all day, every day.
Not love.
That just complicated things and put way too much out of his control.
“You want all that, though,” he said, trying to shift this back to her.
She shrugged. “Yes, I do. So much. With the right person.”
“Kevin wasn’t.”
She shook her head. “I thought he was. Maybe it was my idea of him. The fantasy. I don’t know. Now, I’m responsible for no one.”
Could they be at more opposite ends? Blake wanted less, Carrie wanted more.
“Well, you should enjoy the kid-free, single life while you can,” he said. “Now what’s on the docket today for our fake relationship?” he asked, hoping this was a good distraction.
She glanced at her phone calendar. “Hula lesson tonight,” she said.
“I always did have a thing for coconut bras,” he said, and tossed her a wink.
She smiled. “Well, you’re in luck, because I’m sure they’ll let you wear one.”
“Oh, game on, little girl.”