Fake Engagement, Real Temptation

“Tell me about your mom,” she asked.

Blake glanced at her in shock. “What? Why? Where did that come from?”

She didn’t budge or shrug. She just kept her stare steady on him. “I know her death was hard on you. I don’t know the details other than she passed when you were home with her. I want to know you, though.”

“Sorry, little girl, but that’s not something a fake relationship allows. We talk about our favorite sexual positions and ice cream flavors.”

“You on top and mint chocolate chip,” she said instantly. “And you’re right, that is the basic fake conversations we have in our fake relationship. But we’re not on the island. You said so yourself, we get to be real, at least right now. So please, have just one real conversation with me.”

He looked at her, those big dark eyes pleading with him. And he couldn’t say no. He also felt a knot in his stomach form where he held the memory of his mother and that day. But for the first time, he actually trusted someone enough to say something. The truth.

He trusted Carrie.

“It was my fault,” he said.

She frowned and covered his hand with hers. Not saying anything. Just letting him get through it.

“She was diagnosed with cancer when I was a kid. She fought it for years. Our dad wasn’t there, so it was up to me to be there for her. It was up to me to make sure she survived. I couldn’t even do that.”

He turned the joystick to hover across the pineapple field they’d explored when they first got there. He tried to tap into that happy memory, instead of the haunting one when his mom passed in the bed, her face gaunt and white.

She squeezed his hand. “That’s not your fault.”

He shook off her words. He knew better. Knew that saying this out loud wouldn’t change anything. It reminded him why he didn’t do any commitment with any woman. He couldn’t be responsible for not being there. All day, every day. Moments here and there were one thing. But to have another life count on him? For him to have the chance to fail and lose someone again? Never. He’d never do that.

He’d never lose love because he’d never have it.

Never lose a child.

Never lose a wife.

None of it.

Because he couldn’t handle that kind of failure again. He wasn’t good enough to save his mother. And he was supposed to save Carrie from this heartbreak, this asshole Kevin, and even himself. So far, he wasn’t exactly gett

ing an A+ in those categories. He just knew he couldn’t face the kind of loss that came with his failure again.

He was okay with this fake relationship because deep down, so long as it stayed fake, he didn’t have to risk his heart or losing her.

He hovered near the launch pad, slowly coming back to reality.

“You’re a strong, wonderful man. You should be happy.”

He landed, officially back on the island. “I’m happy with where I am right now,” he said, and judging by the look on her face, she knew that “real talk time” was over.

He shook off his admission and plastered his best fake smile.

“My favorite sexual position is one we haven’t tried yet, and double chocolate ice cream.” There, back to a fake conversation.

She glanced up, and the propellers slowed as he focused on powering down the chopper.

“Back to the fake relationship, then?” she said

He nodded. “Yes.”

She looked at him, and before she took her earphones off, she leaned over and kissed him gently on the mouth.

“It’s not your fault,” she whispered. And kissed him one more time. “Thank you for telling me. And thank you for always making me feel safe.”