Yes, I want you.
Yes, I am yours.
“What are those, anyway?” Kevin said, pointing at her sketches.
“Ideas,” she said, hoping he’d take the hint and eff off.
“Well as long as you aren’t trying to compete with me,” Kevin said, in a joking-not-joking kind of tone. “And your shadow is all wrong here.” He pointed to the rug she was designing.
She was remembering really quickly how she’d gotten derailed the first time. Kevin and his need to tear her down. Now she saw how his insults had made her feel dependent on him. How him demeaning her had made her hungry, desperate for his approval. But now she had the approval of a man who saw her for who she really was.
She closed her book and looked at Kevin.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Just seeing when you were going to get back to the gallery. Wendy and I are heading back tonight, and she wants to throw the engagement shower there sooner rather than later. I was thinking you could head it up. Since you’re good at organizing and arranging furniture and stuff.”
There he went again. She was good at arranging furniture? That’s what she was reduced to. Instead of trying to decorate and coordinate an entire room?
“You are unbelievable,” Carrie said.
“So are you,” Kevin countered without shame. “I’m not going to apologize about trying to help you. Or about me being happy. You never knew what made me happy. You wanted all these things that I didn’t, but you just kept living in a fantasy.”
She frowned, that last word hitting her hard. “Why the hell did you propose to me, then?”
He shrugged. “I thought you’d change. Thought you’d realize how different we are.”
“Oh, yes, we’re very different. But you could have acted in a million different ways than the way you did. You could have told me you didn’t love me.”
“And you could have realized, but you were so deep in your own fantasy you couldn’t see me.”
She shook her head. Everything coming full circle. Kevin had a point. He’d clearly never wanted what she wanted. That didn’t excuse his treatment of her. She had lived, believed, so hard in the fantasy that she didn’t see what was real and right in front of her.
She’d gone after Kevin because he’d promised her a fantasy. Never mind that he hadn’t loved her. Never mind that he would never give her what she wanted. Never mind that the fantasy would always be just out of reach. The chase had kept her alive. But it had also blinded her to what was right in front of her.
Her stomach twisted.
I have to get out of here.
“Excuse me,” a voice rang out over the speakers. The entire place quieted, and Carrie turned and saw Blak
e standing at the stage in the front of the room.
Oh God…it’s happening now.
“What is your guy doing?” Kevin whispered loudly from behind her.
She knew exactly what he was doing. He was sticking to the plan. And her skin flushed with heat, yet broke out with chills at the same time.
“I am a pretty regular man, but I’m hoping my exceedingly special woman will join me up here?”
He had a big smile that brought out both dimples, and his blue eyes were bright. It should have filled her with joy. But this was a fantasy. God, just another fantasy. She walked from the back of the place, toward him, the crowd parting as she went.
Between her sketches and talking with Kevin, she hadn’t realized so many people had filtered in. And now a hundred pairs of eyes were on her, mimosa flutes in hand, everyone silently grinning as she made her way toward Blake.
He held out her hand and she took it, meeting him onstage.
Just then, the band started playing soft luau music as he held the mic in one hand and gripped a small box in the other.