“Like what?” she challenged. “Like I’m coming from a night at a man’s house with my panties in my purse?”
He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. So he tried again.
Then once more.
Finally, words decided to come.
“Not exactly,” he said. But this was Natalie. He couldn’t let her walk out of here, right? He was supposed to protect her from jerks, not be the jerk whose house she left wearing last night’s dress and makeup. He was in way over his head here. This was why he’d never had a woman to his home before.
She just blew a lock of hair out of her face and shoved her glasses up her nose and ran her hands over her dress.
“Well, don’t worry, East. Walk of shame or not, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
That was like a punch to the gut. She marched to the front door and shut it a little harder than usual behind her. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d done the only he thing he could have in the moment…but why did it still feel like the exact wrong thing to do?
Chapter Ten
Natalie walked into Michelle’s boutique. It had been twenty-four hours and two long showers since she’d seen East the other night, and she needed a girl fix.
“Hey! I was wondering when I was going to see you,” Michelle said happily as she walked through the door, and came around the counter to hug her. “You left so quick at the party the other night we didn’t get a chance to chat.”
“Sorry. I was just tired,” Natalie said.
“I bet! Those cupcakes were amazing though! Beautiful work. And not a single one left over.”
“Thanks.” Natalie flicked through a few items on the rack.
“You looking for something particular?”
As Michelle spoke, Natalie caught sight of the back table full of what looked to be a new lingerie collection.
“Is this your new line?” she asked her friend. Michelle ran not only the hottest boutique in town, but also designed her own line of lingerie. It was just starting up, but it was already proving to be both fun and lucrative for her friend.
Michelle beamed with pride. “Yeah, just in time for fall! The dark red is my favorite.”
Natalie agreed. She held up the bra and matching panties, which were all hand-stitched lace and silk.
“For your date?” Michelle asked and wiggled her eyebrows lasciviously. Ha, if only she knew. East was far from a date, yet he was on her mind all the time. She’d always seen him as another big brother to boss her around, and it was hard to reconcile that feeling of affection and frustration with the pure animal desire she seemed to melt into whenever he was physically near. It was so annoying. And the more she tried to stop thinking about him, the more she found her thoughts wandering back to that night in her cupcake shop…or the night at the back of the bar…or the night he’d brought her—her, awkward ugly-duckling Natalie—to his home.
And then she’d ended up in the closet. That made her angry, but she didn’t really have a reason to be. East hadn’t done anything wrong the other night or the other morning when she’d hid from her brother. But it felt…bad.
So was this her being dramatic about something that she didn’t need to be dramatic about? Was this part of dating? No, because she wasn’t dating East. They were a secret. Not even that—they were some sort of negative anomaly that kept bouncing back to the same bad decision to have sex and then feel crappy afterward.
It was a swing. Back and forth, never changing, nowhere to go.
Have sex, say “never again,” then have sex, then “never again.”
On and on.
Still, Natalie wanted to talk to someone so much. Because, while she knew all the reasons why what she and East were doing was a mistake, she kept going back. And what was worse, every time she gave in, she felt more deeply. And to go from being in his arms and his bed—apparently a place no other woman had been—only to then be in his closet, felt…bad.
Like that tight-in-the-chest, sore-in-the-brain, ache-in-her-stomach kind of bad.
“Yeah,” Michelle said, and Natalie realized she hadn’t answered her friend’s original question. “Those are definitely date-type panties you’re looking at.”
“Something like that.” Natalie glanced at the garter belt and absently ran her finger along the silk. Michelle came to stand by her.
“I know it’s hard,” Michelle said, her voice soft. “Dating, men, expectations from others…it’s just hard. But some things you don’t have to hide. If you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here.”