But, which one?
That was the question of my life. And, instead of answering it, I clutched my gifts and tried not to cry.
Chapter 17
I sank back into the large claw-foot tub. It had been a hell of twenty-four hours, but with Christmas officially over, I didn’t know how to feel other than exhausted.
All I could think about were Jack and Cal. Their gifts were beyond thoughtful and spoke to the kind of love we have.
Had.
The word stuck to my skull like hot glue and I hated it.
Deep breath.
The water sloshed and I looked around the nice bathroom. The stone shower cave thing was in the corner and the bathtub had its own nook in the opposite corner. The steam wafted around me as I tried to think through everything. But my brain just flipped me the giant middle finger, because all I thought about was the taste of Cal’s skin and the feel of Jack’s hands.
I reclined further and closed my eyes…
“Enjoying yourself?” Jack asked, and I jumped with alarm. He was sitting on the edge of the tub, his hair slightly ruffled, like he’d be running his hands through it, and his white button-up shirt was rolled at the sleeves.
“I was until you scared me to death.”
His eyes jumped from my face to my breasts, which were bobbing at the top of the water. Not that the clear water concealed much anyway. I tried to slink a little lower in the tub.
“That won’t help you. I can see everything. And your rules said nothing about looking.”
“Is there something you want?”
“Yes,” he said instantly, and I cursed myself. I had to stop asking that, because the way he looked at me made me want to beg him to take it. And I would give him whatever he wanted.
His hot stare roamed over me again, and it was useless trying to hide from him. Especially because I wanted him to jump into the water with me.
“I remember the last time I was in the bath with you,” he said softly. His eyes closed for a moment like he wa
s in pain. “Feeling you for the first time.”
“Jack,” I whispered his name, in a plea to stop, to continue, I didn’t know. But the memory burned my mind and yes…it was painful. In a way only beautiful memories could be.
“That was the night you told me you loved me.” For a brief second, a thick blanket of hope passed between us. He glanced away and flexed his hand once before returning with a steel expression. “But I didn’t come to reminisce.” His words snapped me back to reality. Only Jack could play indifferences like it was little more than flicking a light switch. “I need to speak with you about something important, something that will make you happy.”
“Okay,” I said with weariness.
“But first, I want something.”
“Of course you do.”
“Lift your no touching rule.”
“Can’t,” I said quickly, because if I hesitated too long, I’d say okay. Then I’d likely do a repeat of the last time I was in the bath with him and there’d be no turning back.
“A compromise then. Let me touch you from the knee down.”
I frowned. The knee down? Surely there was nothing sexual about that.
“Alright,” I agreed, and just as I got the word out, he sank his hand in the water, gripped my ankle and drug it up to rest on his thigh. I adjusted my shoulders, still reclining in the tub, just as he pressed his thumbs into the arch of my foot.
I moaned and relaxed completely.