“That’s what I thought,” Jack said. “So don’t tell me this isn’t a big deal because she’s in your bed and not mine. You know what that would do to you?”
I closed my eyes. Whatever amazing moment we’d all just shared was now getting drowned out by the weight of the aftermath. There was only one of me, and while I’d tried to stick to my own rules, I’d failed. And now the competition was back.
“She’s been in here the whole week,” Cal said, squaring his shoulders to face Jack. “She’s not going anywhere.”
Jack took a step toward Cal. “We’ll see about that.”
“Stop,” I said. They both looked at me. “What is going on? What has changed? Why is this room situation suddenly a problem?”
“What’s changed?” Jack asked, like it was the dumbest question on earth. Which it kind of was. I knew that the moment I’d committed to both of them. And Jack was livid. “What changed is what just happened in the living room,” he snapped.
I glanced down.
“Don’t you dare,” Jack said. “Don’t look away now.”
I found his dark gaze and bit the inside of my lip to keep it from trembling. This was bad. Everything in my gut was telling me that we were all standing on the brink of a jagged cliff and any moment we’d fall. And we’d get cut up on the way down.
“I didn’t mean to…” I stopped because I had no idea how to finish that sentence. Truth was, I had meant to continue. With both of them. Because I had the chance to feel them. To love them. Without having to pick. And it was the most amazingly beautiful moment of my life. But this moment would make or break everything. And we all knew it.
Cal’s eyes were shimmering with wild caged beasts behind those blues.
“I don’t want to ruin everything,” I said honestly.
“That’s what’s happening,” Jack replied. “The only way for everything not to be ruined is for you to choose.”
My mouth parted and a painful gust of air stuck to my throat.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“Lana,” Cal’s voice was terrifyingly low. “I don’t know what the hell to do.” He threaded his fingers together and placed them on the top of his head, then looked at the ceiling as if hoping for an answer. “What happened out there…I was caught up. I want you so damn much that I just shared you with my best friend.”
He sounded concerned for me. I didn’t know how to fix that, other than to tell the truth.
“I liked every second of what we shared tonight,” I said.
“Which we are you talking about?” Jack asked.
“Both of you…all of us,” I clarified.
“I don’t know what to do with that,” Jack said, seeming just as lost as Cal. “All of us doesn’t really work.”
And that was on my shoulders. I knew them. Knew they each needed control. Knew they couldn’t be second in any way, to me or one another. And I just gave in to the passion and selfishly wanted both of them.
Jack hovered near my bed, pacing around the side, looking at the mattress. He stopped suddenly and without turning to look at me said, “Choose.”
Ferocity dried out that single word.
I looked at Cal for support, but he just nodded.
“Jack’s right. You need to choose.”
My vision was narrowing, like a tunnel was closing in. Neither of them had come out and demanded my choice before. I’d been clear from the start that I wouldn’t choose, but this? The ultimatum? My chest tingled, trying to call on that numbness I’d gotten so good at implementing. But it didn’t come. Deep down, I was on the cusp of losing everything, and I knew it. And my body was forcing me to feel the ache of that coating my stomach.
“But, just a moment ago, you said I didn’t have to choose,” I whispered.
Jack’s dark eyes settled on mine. “That moment is over. Things changed.”
It hurt to swallow those words down. It wasn’t about the room. It wasn’t about where I’d sleep, it was about what each room represented. Them. Jack was right, everything had changed the moment I reached out for both of them. And I was stupid enough to think that hope had anywhere to thrive.