I needed a sounding board. Needed to gather myself. Needed a plan.
I ran across the street toward the fire station. Little flecks of rain started coming down, the kind that carried a gust of wind with them and stung when they hit my face.
Ringing the bell, I crossed my arms tightly around myself and bounced on my toes. I waited and finally the door opened and it was Cal.
“What happened?” he asked instantly, concern knitting his brow. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay…I need you.”
~
My heart was beating so fast I could feel it in my throat. I paced back and forth in Cal’s room, clenching and unclenching my fists. But there was nothing to grab. Nothing to hold on to.
“I should have told her!” I said, continuing my strides along the walls of his room like a caged animal. “I just stood there, horrified, while he smiled and kissed her, and I just…froze. How could I do that?”
“It’s okay,” Cal said, and gently cupped my shoulders, halting my frantic back and forth movement.
“No, it’s not okay. What if he hurts her?”
Cal looked down at me, his thumbs rubbing slowly on my skin, keeping eye contact. “If he’d hurt her, you would have been able to tell.”
The idea made me shudder, but Cal was right. If Brock had shown her his true nature, Erica would have likely been some level of solemn, but she was all giddy and happy. Which meant she had no idea about the kind of man Brock really was.
“I should have said something,” I whispered.
“You were shocked, it happens. Don’t give yourself a hard time about this. Now, you have time to think about how you want to handle this.”
“I want to tell her,” I said, knowing that I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t.
“Okay,” he said with all the support in the world. “Then let’s figure out the best way to go about that. But first, I want you to take a deep breath.”
I huffed out. Not because I was frustrated with Cal, but because I hadn’t been taking actual breaths. Just short puffs of air. One long inhale did help, so I took another. My body relaxed a little.
“At least I know why he’s been on campus,” I whispered, hating the idea of Brock being with my sweet advisor. She was kind and smart, and he obviously had her blinded to the real monster that hid under the cultured manners and expensive clothes. But that was his strong suit. Making people buy into his charm and charisma.
“You said you meet with her every Monday. Why not talk to her then?”
“That’s a week away.” And so much could happen in a week. Hell, someone’s entire world could change forever in a single night.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Cal said gently. “But I don’t think Brock will hurt her. It’s not the same situation.”
“I know, but she deserves to know the kind of man he is. What he’s capable of.” I patted his chest in rapid succession. An idea striking me. “She’s gone this week in Phoenix, maybe I could call the school and get her cell phone number! Or maybe I can figure out what hotel she’s staying at.”
“Shhh, calm down, Kitten,” Cal’s voice was the only thing calm happening right now. “I know you want to tell her, and you should. But, like you said, she’s gone this week, and even if the school gave you her number, which they won’t, this isn’t exactly an email or phone call kind of situation.”
He had a point. This was a big issue, and not something a quick call could cover. But I hated the idea of waiting. Still, I didn’t have much choice.
“Okay, I want to talk to her face to face.” My brain went into overdrive of what I’d say. How could I say it? It’s not like you could just walk up to someone and say, “Hey, the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with is a monster, now, let me tell you why…” Still, it was definitely an in-person chat, no matter how difficult.
“I think that’s best,” Cal said.
Okay. Monday, one week, and I’ll tell her. It would give me time to collect myself and think of how to approach this logically. Because the more the craziness of the moment cleared, the more I realized how difficult this was. For all she knew, Brock was wonderful. Her fiancé. The man she loved enough to spend the rest of her life with. And, in one moment, I was going to ruin all of that.
I knew what that felt like, to have your entire world ripped out from under you, and I realized I was going to tell her something truly awful.
“Okay,” I said on a heavy breath. “Monday.”
He rubbed my arms. “Good, now that you have a plan, I want to know if you are okay?”