The rest of week passed in a blur. Cal had been working several days, and I spent most of my time huddled inside my home. He didn’t talk about his past any more. And I didn’t push him. He’d told me what had happened, but how he dealt with it seemed to be a constant thing in his world. I only hoped he’d let me be a part of it. So far, he was. And I was thankful for that.
The shopping craze after Thanksgiving was finally subsiding, and I was making good progress on my classes and thesis. It was ever growing and changing, and my first meeting with my new advisor was now scheduled on Tuesdays, so I likely wouldn’t run into Erica, and by proxy, Brock. I didn’t know if that was done on purpose or not. But Professor Walker was a nice man in his late fifties. I had him for a class last year, so at least I was with someone I knew.
He had given me some good feedback, and we were going to meet one more time, really polish my proposal, then he would take it to the board after next week’s meeting.
For now¸ I strolled down the streets of Golden, looked at the small shops, and tugged my scarf tighter around my neck. All the Christmas decorations were out, and things felt like holiday happiness. I still couldn’t get Erica out of my mind. At some point, everything would come out, it always did. For now, I had no choice but to stay away.
I looked at a display of a sled with wrapped presents in the window and a reflection caught my eye. A man on the other side of the street with dark hair and a tall build caught my attention.
I turned around. He was on the other side of the street and further down in a black wool coat, perfect posture, and broad shoulders…
“Jack,” I whispered.
I went to walk across the street, but was cut off by a car. The man moved, walking down a side street and away from me. I wanted to call out. To have him stop.
It couldn’t be him.
I couldn’t tell, but my heart leapt into my throat with both hope and fear. When I finally made it across the street and down the alley, he’d gone. I caught myself thinking:
What if it was him?
What if it wasn’t?
What would I say?
It didn’t matter. Nothing registered. I just had to know if it was him. I hustled faster, but there was no one there. A small parking lot on the back side of the building was all I found. Not a soul in sight. Not a car that looked like it could be Jack’s.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I didn’t know how to feel or what to think. This would happen. Unless Jack moved away forever, which wasn’t the case since his family was here, I’d see him at some point.
The problem was, I just chased after what could have been him. To what end?
Hell if I knew.
I went after a shadow of what could have been my past. A past that had walked out on me. And then I decided to move—away from Jack and toward the man who would chase me to the ends of the earth. A man who had taken me to the edge of the world and didn’t let go.
I made my way back toward Main Street and caught the smell of the local coffee shop. I wondered if they served spiked peppermint mochas this time in the afternoon.
~
I stirred the dip, which was sour cream and an onion soup packet, about the extent of my “cooking skills,” and balanced the phone between my ear and shoulder.
“So, you’re having a good time?” I asked Harper.
“Yeah, family is crazy, but
it’s good.” Harper had a handful of brothers and sisters, and parents that were still together. Everyone was loud and nosy, but it all came from a place of love. I could hear everyone chatting in the background. I was glad I’d stayed behind, because while Harper’s family was wonderful, they all had their own lives, and I wasn’t really a part of it.
“I miss you,” she said.
“I miss you too.”
“How are things going with Cal?”
I breathed deep. “Pretty well. I like him. A lot. He’s…different.”
“Different good or different than Jack?”
Of course, Harper wouldn’t miss that. “Both.”