The minute Bass said the words he wasn’t thinking of basketball, he thought of Penny. She could be the sexiest pain in the ass he’d ever encountered, but there he was, thinking of nothing but getting back in her presence.
“I meant that it’s hard keeping track of words. Especially bad words,” Alex said, clarifying his earlier statement as he concentrated on bouncing the basketball. “What if I forget what’s good and bad words? There’s a lot of words, you know?”
Bass nodded. “Yeah, I know, kiddo.”
“I don’t want to mess up and get Uncle Colt in trouble by saying a bad one.”
He looked around. Where the hell were Colt and Huck? After scanning the store, he saw Colt looking at little kid high-tops and Huck “testing” out the weights by lifting them.
Ah shit, he was alone with the kid, standing in the middle of a sporting goods store, trying to explain words?
Great…
“Here’s what I do. When someone asks you a question, and you’re not sure what to say or have the right words, just say ‘define’ and repeat what they asked you.”
Alex stopped dribbling, grabbed the ball, and looked at him. “What does that do?”
He shrugged. “It buys you time to think of something else.” It was a trick he used in the court room. Besides, clear expectations and agreements were a must. Which was why he liked everything in black and white.
His mind flashed again to Penny and all the gray she was putting in his world.
Was gray so bad? He could live with a little more excitement than he was used to. The boundaries were still in place. He was safe.
Just because he enjoyed what they were doing didn’t mean he was all emotional or feeling shit. Of course he enjoyed her. Hell, he was living out a fantasy he’d long thought was never going to happen. But that didn’t mean everything had to fall apart now, not when they were having so much fun. They had an agreement. Two weeks, purely sex. He would teach her things, then go back to being friends.
She was going to fuck someone anyway, may as well have been me.
Yeah, too bad that excuse wasn’t helping him sleep at night when thinking of lying to Ryder about this situation. It also wasn’t helping when he thought of Penny as much more than a fling. Those were the kind of thoughts he needed to get under control ASAP.
“You’re smart, Uncle Bass.” Alex smiled.
He wanted to laugh. He didn’t feel smart. He felt like a fucking moron, actually. But he’d take the compliment.
“Thanks, kid. You’re pretty smart too. And a promising basketball player.”
Alex dribbled down the aisle just as Colt came up with shoes in hand. “These are good shoes for basketball, right?”
Bass looked at them. “Those are track shoes. You want high tops that support the ankle.”
Colt looked at the pair in his hand, mumbled something like, “Ah, hell,” and went back to the wall of shoes.
Seeing Colt spend time with his nephew and being back home made life feel like it was coming together. But watching the one time Rodeo Romeo settle down, shop for kid shoes, and plan a wedding, all while maintaining a stupid ass smile on his face 24/7 from the bliss he felt, that was cool. He was happy for his friend.
No matter how happy he was for Colt though, he had to remind himself that kind of life wasn’t for him.
He had no problem with responsibility, he had a problem with the emotional attachment. Trust was one thing. It was something you could trade with a lover, a friend, and hope for the best in terms of an equal exchange. But taking it further? Counting on someone to love you and want you above all others? Want you enough to stay and commit to long term and never leave?
No. Life had more than taught him those things weren’t in the cards for him. Sebastian’s own mother had left him. His own fucking mother. How someone could leave their child was beyond him. Which was why he was never going to have one. Or a wife for that matter. He’d seen what a woman could do to a man simply by walking out.
No fucking way was that ever going to be him.
“Hey!” Lily called as the bell to the front of the shop opened. Decked out in scrubs with giraffes on them, she’d come straight from work. Clutching her purse, she made her way toward Alex.
“Mama, look!” He dribbled a couple of times with a big smile on his face.
“Aw, you’re a star, honey.”
“And I found some shoes,” Colt said, walking up with a pair of actual basketball shoes.