Breathe You In (Sweet Torment 1)

“Someone with something to gain from certain situations or admissions.”

I frowned. “Who would stand to gain something like that?” The moment the words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back.

Roman’s stare bore down on me. A blast of fire shot through my stomach so fast, I thought I might be sick. It turned out he didn’t have to explain further. The look on his face made it quite clear.

Roman didn’t trust me.

He didn’t even let me talk about our arrangement unless under his roof and stripped bare, for goodness’ sake. He’d never spend time with me in my home, a place that hadn’t been dusted, searched, and secured.

There was nothing more to say, so I tried to give my best fake smile. Rejection hurt, and I’d had plenty tonight. Actually, I’d had plenty the last couple of weeks. Feeling like a world-class fool was becoming my signature style. I was throwing myself at a man who was obviously uninterested in sharing any real part of himself, and I was suffering all the damage.

“Have a good night,” I said, trying to sound collected, praying he wouldn’t call after me, but wishing he would.

Walking up my steps, I fished my keys out and opened the front door, never once looking back at the governor or all the baggage that came with him.

Chapter Eleven

Sunday mornings were usually my favorite. They were a chance to hang out, be mellow, and just relax. Of course, after being dropped off last night by Roman, relaxed was the furthest thing from what I was feeling.

I was the only one awake, and I didn’t want to turn on the television and disturb my sleeping roommates, so I opened Paige’s laptop and huddled on the couch. She let me borrow it whenever I liked, and today I needed simple entertainment to take my mind off the drama of my real life. Maybe some kind of sneezing panda video would cheer me up. As Paige’s computer fired up and took me to the browser she had left open, I realized that escaping drama was impossible.

“Oh. My. God.” My eyes went wide as I looked at the blog site with my picture slapped at the top of the page. The headline blared:

Governor’s Girlfriend Drunk at Fundraiser?

The only photos that were supposed to have been taken had been during the meet and greet. Not throughout the evening. I didn’t even remember seeing someone click a camera in my direction after the initial onslaught at the beginning of the night.

But there I was, holding a glass of champagne, eyes squeezed shut, with an unflattering expression on my face that made it look like I was hammered. Roman was cropped out of the photo, but I saw his hand on my hip. It had been taken when I was dizzy and on the brink of having a panic attack, right before he’d gotten me out of there.

I looked up to see Paige, with tangled hair and tired eyes, walk into the living room.

“I wasn’t drunk, Paige. I didn’t even finish a whole glass of anything last night.”

She nodded. “I know. Don’t worry, it’s being dealt with.”

&nbs

p; I scanned the blog. “Dealt with? This whole piece is speculating that I was intoxicated, and asking how I can be a good role model in my profession when I’m a lush.” I scrolled down and read a blurb. “The governor disappeared with Underwood for almost an hour, only to return to his guests without the blonde activist on his arm.” Even the tone sounded snippy.

It went on, but I couldn’t bear to read anymore. I knew the media had a part in every politician’s world. Until now, it hadn’t been overwhelming. Glancing back at the screen, I realized that whatever role the press played, I had no idea how to handle it.

“You said it just right. This is speculation. It’s what people, especially the media, do. And I promise, it’s being addressed.” Paige sat down next to me. Gently taking the laptop, she closed the screen. “Governor Reese has already authorized a statement saying that you had to leave due to illness, you were not drunk, and the photo was unflattering and unfortunate.”

I scoffed. “Isn’t that nice.”

“Would you rather he came out and said you panicked because you saw your ex-boyfriend at the fundraiser?”

I let out a long sigh. Of course Paige was up to date on what had happened, at least while I had been downstairs.

“This just feels awful,” I said.

She nodded and gave me a one-arm hug. “I know. Why don’t you leave the media to me? There’s no reason you need to see this stuff. The moment you start Googling yourself and Roman, it will turn into a black hole and affect your relationship with him. It’s just not worth it, and it will only upset you. In the end, there’s nothing you can do about it anyway.”

“I hate that idea. It’s like I’m completely powerless.”

“It’s just not worth getting upset over.” She rose and headed to the kitchen. “Why don’t I make us some coffee and we’ll try to salvage the day?

Smiling as best I could, I nodded and hugged my knees to my chest. I felt very alone and very noticed, all at the same time.