Breathe You In (Sweet Torment 1)

“I’ve been keeping this from you. The secret of my fault in it. I was ashamed. I don’t want it to affect your campaign—”

“Shhh, sweetheart,” he cut me off, not letting me finish my words, or the thoughts that had been plaguing me. He pulled me to his chest. I let myself get lost in the steady drum of his heartbeat. Finding a rhythm, a stillness.

It wasn’t until I had met him that I’d started to realize I was losing Lauren all over again. Only this time, it was the memories. All the good memories. Roman was stopping that, bringing back the good and fighting off the bad.

I threw my arms around him and kissed him hard.

“I don’t want to feel this way anymore,” I admitted.

“I don’t want you to either,” he murmured against my mouth, and returned my kiss. He pushed to his feet, never taking his mouth from mine, and hovered over me. I kept my arms around him and lay back on the bed.

A spark of need rushed through me, so hot and heavy I couldn’t stand it. And that need was for Roman. I needed him to be inside me, a part of me. Needed that connection. It was the only time I truly felt wanted. Felt whole and not alone in the world.

I tugged his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. He must have sensed my urgency because he returned my attentions.

He made quick work of my clothes, and when the last pieces of fabric fell away, he placed himself between my thighs and hugged me tight. Skin against skin. Every part I could reach, I touched. His hardness was like a hot brand on my lower stomach, but he held himself still and just embraced me.

His strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. I wove my legs around his waist. Using every ounce of strength I had, I clung to him, tighter and tighter, while tears ran down my cheeks.

“More,” I whispered. “Please, I need more of you.”

Without taking himself too far from me, he reached for his discarded pants and pulled out a condom, quickly put it on, and settled back between my legs.

“Amy,” he whispered, as he shifted his hips and positioned himself at my entrance. “You’re beautiful.” He pushed slightly, breaching me with only the crown. “You,” he emphasized, “are kind.” Another inch slid in. “You are ambitious.” And another.

He kissed the tip of my nose, and more tears ran from my eyes down my temples and into my hair. All the things that were never said to me, about me, he was saying now.

He kept his eyes on mine. “You, Amy, are amazing.”

With a final thrust, he surged home and I gasped, digging my nails into his back to keep him close. Praying he’d never move from that spot.

“I need you,” I whispered against his ear, then bit the lobe. His body tensed and I arched my hips, taking him just a bit deeper. “So much.”

He stirred himself in my depths, hitting every nerve and bringing out that amazing feeling of strength. Of trust. Of hope.

Right then, life didn’t seem so bleak. The past didn’t seem too daunting. Not with me wrapped around him and him within me. It was simple. Good. Just us. And I believed him. I’d known it the first night I’d met him, when he’d removed me from a place I didn’t belong. I’d known he was different. Just like tonight, he’d saved me. Led me to something better. Led me to him.

“I need you too,” he rasped and kissed me hard, devouring me. Consuming all I was, branding me with his kiss while he pushed and pulled at my body, demanding more. Taking me higher. Moving deeper. My body couldn’t keep up, couldn’t understand such intensity because it had never felt it before.

I splintered apart before I knew what was happening. Over and over I came, around him, with him. He clutched me tighter and I kissed him with everything I felt, everything I was sorry for, everything I was grateful for.

We shared one perfect moment of bliss when the world stopped spinning and the past and darkness fell away.

All that existed was us.

Chapter Eighteen

The short grass crunched beneath my feet as I made my way toward the single slab of concrete that brought tears to my eyes: Lauren’s headstone.

Roman’s grip on my hand tightened, and the morning air brought scents of my childhood in its breeze. An Indiana sunrise was a beautiful thing.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Roman said. With a final reassuring squeeze, he let me walk ahead to find Lauren.

“Hi, Sister,” I whispered, and set down the flowers I’d gotten her.

Kneeling, I brushed the dew and scattered blades of grass and leaves off of her stone. The edges of her name, her birthday, and her death date scratched my palms as I smoothed them over the glossy rectangle.

“I miss you,” I said. “It seems like time goes by so quickly, but then I come here, see you, and always remember how young we are.”