Brenna
I saw red. I walked away from Nova Fertility fuming. Of all the fucking fertility clinics in the world, he had to choose this one? Of course, he did. It was the most expensive one in the city. He had a million dollars to throw away just like that. That was enough to get the girl you humiliated seven years ago back into your life for the next nine months with no repercussions.
I got on the train and got my phone out.
Leaving soon? Happy hour? I texted to Maggie.
Do we have something to be happy about? she texted back. To be honest I was so mad, the energy coming off me could power the city for a week. I hit her back with the shrugging emoji and she sent me back the laughing crying face.
Meet you at Hysteria at the end of the block? she asked. It was an establishment that served alcohol, really any would do right now. I told her to meet me there because I’d probably get there before her. I needed a tall, stiff one. Something terrible was happening. Some awful cosmic punishment was being put on me for something I did in a past life. That had to be it. What the hell were the chances that I saw Charles Hampton again, much less that he would be needing a surrogate and I would be broke and desperate enough to be offering my services as one?
I sat at the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey. Memories of that night together came flooding back. He was my first. I wasn’t being precious about giving my first time up to someone special, but at the time, he was someone special and I felt good about having sex with him for the first time. I felt like he wouldn’t hurt me or make me feel bad about it afterward. He would make sure it was as good for me as it was going to be for him. He wouldn’t just pump and dump me.
So much for thinking the best of people. I threw back my shot and ordered another one. A little communication on his part would have been nice. Just a dash of human decency to tell me that he didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt about him. Why was that so hard to do? Who was holding a gun to his head telling him that he had to make me think we had something that we didn’t?
“You started without me,” Maggie said, walking up to me.
I shrugged and threw the shot back, then winced as it burned down my throat. “You were too slow.”
She perched on the stool next to me. “Is something wrong? Does this have to do with whatever happened this afternoon? Slow down would you?” she said when I signaled the bartender for another drink.
“Gotta get it while I still can. Pretty soon I’ll be forced into sobriety.”
“Why? What are you talking about?” she asked.
“Well, it’s generally frowned upon to do shots while pregnant so…” I took down the third shot.
“You got it? Lucky they never asked about your alcohol tolerance,” Maggie said, patting me on the back when I coughed. I looked over at her. Her expression fell.
“What happened during that meeting at the clinic?” she asked.
“I’m supposed to be sworn to secrecy, but I haven’t signed the NDA yet,” I said.
“You know I’m not going to say anything.” Ordinarily, I would tell Maggie anything, but I had a healthy fear of men who could throw around millions of dollars without blinking an eye. She knew I was going to be a surrogate though and she knew where I went that afternoon.
“Okay, no names. Don’t ask me who this dude is, I can’t tell you. He’s rich though. Very rich. He wants to have a baby with a surrogate for god knows what reason, but get this. I know him.”
“Who is he?” she asked.
“I told you I can’t tell you,” I slurred. “He’s this guy I spent the summer with right after high school. Seven years ago.”
“So, he’s not a stranger. Isn't that a good thing?”
“No. He broke my heart,” I said, cringing at how petulant I sounded.
“What happened?” she asked. It wasn’t like I wanted to remember but at the same time, I had never ever forgotten. It was hard to forget your first and worst heartbreak. The summer that we spent together, I hadn’t had any expectations of us going the distance, but I never thought I’d heal after the way things ended. Maggie didn’t really know the story, just that my first time had been with a guy I liked who turned out to be an asshole. It was embarrassing to think about. I didn’t have many regrets in my life but that was one of them
“He was a lifeguard and I was working the snack shack. It was Dana Point Beach. He was a couple of years older; everyone was and I felt really out of place but he always reached out and tried to make me feel comfortable. We were friendly and then it turned flirty. He ended up being my first.”
“How did it go? Was i
t good?”
“I loved him. Honestly. I knew the chances that we would actually get to be together after the summer were slim to none but it was nice. It was special. It actually meant something with him. It made me think that there might have been some hope. But then the summer ended. His mother… his mother told me to stay away from him.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I swear to god. It was like an episode of Dynasty or something. She told me I was worthless. I was trash and her son was too good for me.”