“Some people can afford it, Devin. I can’t.”
I wondered what the fuck that meant. Of course, it didn’t matter. She’d drawn the line and I couldn’t step over it.
“Okay. If you can resist, so can I.” I started to step back, but her fingers were clutching my shirt.
I looked from her hand to her eyes, where a torrent of emotion swam through them. “You okay?”
She shook her head.
“What’s wrong?” Now concerned, I brought my hands back to her shoulders.
“I don’t want you to resist. I don’t want to resist.”
How I didn’t get whiplash from the full-circle twist on her statement I didn’t know.
“You just said—”
“I know what I said. What I want and what is the right thing to do are two different things.”
“I see.” She wanted me but didn’t want to want me. What I didn’t understand was what to do about it.
“Do you always give up so easily?” she asked.
I was sure my brows shot up to my hairline her question surprised me so much. “Ah…first, I feel like I’ve made a good case that you have torn down left and right. Second, I might be arrogant, but I know and respect that a no means no.”
She nodded. “Yes. Of course. That’s sweet.”
I laughed because I couldn’t figure out what else to do. “Tell me what you want from me, Serena and I’ll do it.”
“Is it hard to resist me?”
“It’s the hardest thing. And to be clear, when I talk about hard, I’m not just talking about my willpower.”
Her head tilted down to where my dick was making himself known in my jeans. Her head jerked back up. I simply stared at her. There was no going forward without her full, one-hundred-percent consent.
“But you could walk away,” she said softly.
“I have to. You said no.” I shifted because my dick was uncomfortable. “But, let me ask you because these things aren’t as clear on a woman as they are on a man. Are you turned on? If I were to rub my finger through your pussy, would I find it wet?”
She swallowed, and I wanted to press kisses to the curve of her throat. I was tempted to brush my thumb over her tit to see if her nipple was hard, but the ball was in her court.
Just to be sure she knew that I said, “If you want me, Serena. You can have me any way you want.”
She let out a shuddering breath.
“But you have to make the move.”
7
Serena
What the heck was I doing? I’d nearly achieved what I wanted; Devin backing off. But as he stepped away from me, physically and emotionally, I found myself yearning for him to keep trying. It was a foolish and dangerous desire. First, I meant what I said in that we weren’t the same people. I suspected what we both wanted was the ease and freedom that we’d had when we’d gotten together the first time. But that time was gone.
Second, I had to think about Andrew. If Devin found out about him, what would he do? What scared me more was what his mother would do. She didn’t want him, and I didn’t want Andrew having to go through life knowing he wasn’t good enough for his grandmother.
“I can’t decide if I’m encouraged or offended by the tug-of-war that seems to be going on in your head,” he said as need and common sense warred inside me. “Let me make it easier for you.” Again, he moved to step back.
“No.” My fingers clutched his shirt tighter. I felt like I was holding on for dear life, which didn’t make sense, but the minute I lost contact, I felt like I’d lose much more than just a chance to be held by him again.