“We’ll talk when you get back,” my father said, interrupting my mother.
I nodded and turned to leave.
“He’s still young, Katherine. He can still come around if we don’t force him into a corner.” I heard my father say as I left the room.
I shook my head knowing I’d never come around. I went upstairs to pack for Europe. I checked on Bri but she wasn’t in her room. She was lucky to be born second. Perhaps being a girl helped too considering how antiquated my parents’ thinking was. I hoped to hell I wouldn’t put my family through all this old-world traditional bullshit. Then I remembered I wasn’t going to have a family. Problem solved.
11
Serena
I did the right thing by completely cutting Devin from my life, but that didn’t mean that I liked it. Each time he’d called or texted over the next week, I got annoyed wishing he’d get the message and stop. Then he did stop, and now I was annoyed and hurt that he wasn’t trying to get in touch with me. I was an idiot.
Ultimately, I had to accept that while I wished it could be different, the situation now was the best for all of us. I needed to focus on keeping Andrew safe from Devin’s family, even as it felt more wrong than before to do so.
All I had to do was stay away from Devin and my life could go back to how it was before. Well, maybe not exactly as before, but pre-Devin returning, I didn’t think of him as much as I did now. And he didn’t appear in my dreams as much either.
Letting Devin touch me again also ruined my private moments of self-gratification. It just felt so much better when he was touching me than me touching myself. I wondered if a toy would help me with that? Or maybe I could meet a new man. But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn’t the answer. It seemed unlikely I’d meet someone who got to me the way Devin did. And if I did, I’d probably feel guilty about it, which made no sense. I wouldn’t be cheating on him, and yet the idea of being with another man felt like a betrayal.
I scoffed at myself. “Clearly he doesn’t feel the same.” I couldn’t get the vision of him escorting his friend Evie into a private room at his parents’ party or of his sister telling me they were engaged and probably fucking. I thought I’d been smart with my heart this time around, but clearly, I hadn’t been because it felt like it had been stomped on.
“Mommy? Can we go to the airport? I want to see the airplanes.” Andrew sat at the kitchen table eating his breakfast.
“Maybe this weekend,” I said, happy for the distraction. “I don’t have to work this weekend so we can do something fun.”
“Can we ride in one?”
“I don’t think we can do that,” I said.
“Did you know that rich people have their own airplanes? That’s what I want when I grow up; to be rich and have my own airplane.”
Another wave of guilt rolled through me. Andrew was rich. The chances seemed pretty good that the Roarke family owned an airplane. It didn’t happen often, but on occasion, like now, I realized that there were things Devin could offer Andrew that I couldn’t. The money yes, but I meant beyond the money. Experiences. Like riding in an airplane.
“You’ll have to work hard and do well in school.”
“I do.”
I kissed his head as I made my way to the sink to pour out my coffee. “You’re a smart boy.”
I dropped Andrew off with my mother and made my way to work. I’d gotten lots of kudos for my work with the Roarke anniversary party, so Nikita was working to give me more exclusive work.
I was at my desk when she popped her head in. “Got a minute?”
“Yeah, sure. Come in.” I closed the file I was reviewing.
“Are you holding out on me?” she asked, looking down on me with her arms crossed and one brow quirked up.
“Ah…no…I don’t think so.”
“I’m hearing rumors around the office that Devin Roarke is engaged, and yet, I don’t see anything suggesting that we’re doing an engagement party or wedding.”
I swallowed hard as pain seared my heart. “I haven’t heard anything about a party or wedding.”
She sat in the chair by my desk. “Then you need to bring it up. Rena, if you got the job of planning the Roarke-Winthrop wedding, you’d be made here. And the envy of everyone including me. You need to ask him about it.”
I nodded because I didn’t know what else to do. “I’ll ask.”
She frowned. “What’s going on? Is everything all right?”